


make you pauper or make you queen

by cloudghost



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, it's still set in the same time but the setup is different for almost all of the characters, there's also focus on Gwen & Elyan bc siblings and on Gwen & Merlin's friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudghost/pseuds/cloudghost
Summary: “Uther’s time is running out. He's going to fall. He's going to die. I will personally see to that. If what you’ve said is true, is that really something you want to miss?”“You can’t honestly think you have a chance against him,” Gwen said incredulously.Morgana smiled. The cold fire in her eyes sent shivers down Gwen’s spine.“I do.”





	make you pauper or make you queen

The mist parted and a figure emerged. Gwen let her hand rest on her sword hilt, even though a sword wouldn’t do her much good against this opponent.

“Guinevere,” Morgana said.

“I underestimated you.”

“Not many who do live to tell the tale.” Morgana started circling her slowly.  “Let alone try again. In fact, you might be the first. Tell me, are you brave or just foolish?”

“Neither.”

Morgana stopped and leaned back slightly, raising her eyebrows. Gwen could tell that Morgana thought she had her all figured out.

“Money, then.”

“Yes,” Gwen said, though it wasn’t that simple. But she didn’t think a sorceress would care, and if she managed to do what was expected of her, Morgana wouldn’t be able to care about much of anything for much longer. Gwen swallowed heavily and, not for the first time, wondered if she could really go through with this.

Morgana tilted her head to the side and studied Gwen. “That’s not all. Tell me.”

Gwen frowned, taken aback. Then she shook her head.

“It won’t change anything.”

Something in Morgana’s expression changed and she took a step closer.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Give it a try.”

“What, you want to hear my life story?”

A hint of a smile showed on Morgana’s face and in that moment, Gwen realised that the stories were true: Morgana was indeed so beautiful it was dangerously distracting.

“I might be persuaded to spare your life,” Morgana said. “You know you cannot win this fight, not after last time. And yet you returned anyway. I want to know why.”

Something in Gwen’s chest wound tight, but she forced herself not to let anything show on her face. Yes, she knew she very likely wouldn’t walk out of this encounter alive. And yet, Morgana’s arrogance made stubbornness catch fire in Gwen’s heart and spread out till it burned away all rational thought.

“You don’t know anything about me. And if you want answers, this really isn’t the best way to go about that.”

Morgana pretended to give it some thought. Gwen could tell she was enjoying annoying her and that only made anger curl up tighter in her stomach. She balled the hand that wasn’t on her sword hilt into a fist and clenched her teeth. Morgana’s gaze returned to her and her lips curved up in an aggravatingly smug smile. Her dark hair framed her face and only seemed to increase its pale, otherworldly glow.

“Consider this,” she started and lifted a slender finger, “my interest in your motivations provides you with a unique bargaining chip to walk away from this unharmed. Don’t waste it.”

Was Gwen imagining it or were strands of Morgana’s long hair starting to writhe and move like snakes? As if they were ready to lash out and attack their unsuspecting victims. She bit down on her bottom lip in thought. Even if Gwen’s story somehow saved her life, it wouldn’t help her father. But if she died, he was doomed without a doubt.

“Like with most of us, Uther knows how to get me to do what he wants. That’s all.”

Morgana’s posture stiffened at Uther’s name. After a slight pause, she cleared her throat. “You would address him so casually?”

Gwen felt her expression hardening. “He doesn’t deserve my respect. Especially where he can’t hear it.”

Morgana blinked, then frowned. “You are not… loyal to him?”

After staring at her for a long moment, Gwen couldn’t help it—she burst out laughing.

“Loyal? To that—” Gwen stopped herself abruptly. While she loathed Uther’s entire existence with every fibre of her being, she had trained herself to keep all of that in, never say it, always swallow, swallow, swallow, and she just couldn’t bring herself to voice it out loud.

“Then why would you attack me? Do you believe the stories about magical people?”

Gwen shook her head. “I never have, but Uther knows all about leverage, and so here I am. I have to at least try to keep the people I love safe. He locked my father in his dungeon and he said that if I didn’t participate in his efforts to fight magical people—” She broke off and let out a shaky breath.

None of this felt right: that Uther was king; that he had any power at all; that her choice was between losing her father and betraying everything she believed in; that she didn’t know what she could do to change any of it. The thought of actually taking someone’s life made her hands tremble and her throat close up, but didn’t she have to try, at least? For her father. And if she died, well, then at least it would all be over.

Maybe Uther would free her father after her death. Then again, Gwen knew better than to hope. Her father was the best blacksmith in the kingdom. Uther would never let him go; his fate was all but written in stone.

“Uther is blackmailing you?” Morgana sounded like her whole world had been turned upside down. Gwen shrugged.

“Most of us. Next to no one would be loyal to that man if they had a choice.” She shook her head again and drew her sword. “But that doesn’t change anything. The reasons don’t matter, we’re still on opposite sides of this. We’re still enemies.”

Morgana lifted an eyebrow, unimpressed. One of her writhing strands of hair shot forwards and tore the sword out of Gwen’s hand. Gwen blinked and stared down at her empty hand, trying to process what had just happened.

“Wait,” Morgana said, lifting a hand. Gwen stared at it, wondering what a sorceress like Morgana could do to her with nothing but a thought. When nothing happened, she looked back up at Morgana’s face and found that she was watching her. Why wasn’t she just getting on with it?

“If I promise to protect you and your father, will you help me take down Uther?”

Gwen stilled. “What?”

“Help me take down Uther,” Morgana repeated, but that didn’t help make it any more real for Gwen. A small flicker of hope irrepressibly came to life inside her chest. She tried to stomp it out and let out a short laugh.

“You might as well kill me now, because many have tried, and many have failed.”

“Uther’s time is running out. He's going to fall. He's going to die. I will personally see to that. If what you’ve said is true, is that really something you want to miss?”

“You can’t honestly think you have a chance against him,” Gwen said incredulously.

Morgana smiled. The cold fire in her eyes sent shivers down Gwen’s spine.

“I do.”

Gwen opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she could find her voice. “You’re only—” She broke off and tried again. “Uther simply has too many people under his control for one person alone to make a difference, no matter how powerful.”

“Who said I was alone?”

Everything in Gwen went cold. In an instant, she felt surrounded, and she searched the woods around her, trying to spot other people behind the trees, but she couldn’t find anyone.

“They are not here,” Morgana clarified.

Gwen hesitated, thinking about how Morgana hadn’t killed her yet; she hadn’t even hurt her. Instead, she seemed to actively be searching for reasons to… keep Gwen alive.

“You… don’t want to kill me.”

Morgana raised her eyebrows. “Oh, really?”

“Why?”

Morgana sighed. “I am sorry to contradict everything you think you know about me, but killing people isn’t exactly my favourite pastime.”

“But I attacked you yesterday.”

“If you call that an attack,” Morgana said and cut off Gwen’s indignant protest with, “So, will you help me?”

Gwen took a deep breath and ran a hand over her face.

“Believe me, I want nothing more than to see this kingdom ripped from Uther’s hands, but… I don’t see how it can be done. Who would succeed him? His son is dead.”

Morgana studied her for a while until she seemed to reach a decision and turned around.

“Follow me.”

After a moment, Gwen hurriedly picked her sword up off the ground, sheathed it and started off through the forest after Morgana.

“Where are we going?” she asked. Morgana simply glanced at her with one eyebrow raised and said nothing.

After a few minutes of silence, Gwen felt uncomfortable enough to try again. “What’s the real reason you didn’t kill me?”

Morgana paused, considering. “A friend of mine asked me to spare your life if I ever saw you again when I described you to him after our last encounter.”

Gwen frowned, confused. “Why?”

“You will see.” Morgana said no more.

Gwen tried to keep track of where they were going but the trees stayed the same and there were no landmarks on their way. Morgana could have been leading her in circles and Gwen wouldn’t have known. When she looked back at Morgana, she realised she was studying her again.

“What?”

Morgana hesitated slightly, then stopped walking. Gwen frowned again and stopped as well.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Arthur is not dead.”

All the air left Gwen’s lungs. “What?”

“Arthur is alive.”

Gwen took a step back, shaking her head. “No. No, no, it can’t—”

“It is,” Morgana interrupted her. “He's with us.”

Gwen’s thoughts whirled. Uther had announced Arthur’s death a couple of months ago, after Arthur had been gone for several weeks on a hunting trip, and no one had questioned it at the time, but now that she thought of it, there were several inconsistencies in Uther’s story and… Her thoughts ground to a halt.

“Do you know— The people with him, did they…?”

Elyan, Elyan, Elyan. Could it be…?

“There was no hunting trip. There was no ambush. Arthur ran away, and he took his people with him.”

“But… he wouldn’t just abandon everyone like that.” At least Gwen didn’t think so.

Morgana tilted her head to the side. “For the right reasons.” Then she started walking again. Gwen hurried after her and reached for her arm, but stopped herself before grabbing it, noticing the stiffening of Morgana’s shoulders.

Morgana was looking down at her hand. “You shouldn’t touch me unexpectedly,” she said. “My magic does not react well to it unless it’s someone I trust.”

“All right.” Gwen nodded. “Just… a knight named Elyan. Is he alive? Is he with Arthur?”

“Your lover?”

Gwen stared at her in shock and couldn’t suppress a grimace at the idea. “Brother.”

That word caused something complicated to happen on Morgana’s face that Gwen couldn’t even begin to understand.

“Brother,” Morgana repeated quietly. Gwen’s confusion must have shown on her face, because Morgana explained, “I have a complicated relationship with that word.”

Gwen nodded again and moved on. “Is Elyan alive?”

“He is,” Morgana said. And just like that, Gwen’s legs threatened to give out, so she braced herself against a tree and forced herself to take deep breaths.

“Elyan is alive. Father won’t believe it…” She grimaced. “If he ever finds out.”

“He will,” Morgana said. Gwen looked at her, and the intent look she found on Morgana’s face surprised her. “I do not break my promises.”

Easier said than done when keeping your word meant defeating the most powerful man in the country, the king himself. Gwen quashed her doubts and decided she might as well believe in her, because in the end she’d always known she wouldn’t be able to bear the way she’d felt since she’d been told Elyan had died and since Uther had locked her father in the dungeon for much longer. Something had to change, and Uther couldn’t be allowed to get away with his disgusting actions anymore.

They continued walking in silence. After some time, Morgana held out a hand to stop Gwen and pointed at a fallen tree in the distance.

“Beyond that fallen tree, you will find a glade.” Morgana reached into her wide sleeve and pulled out a small purple stone. She took hold of Gwen’s hand and pressed the stone into it. “This will allow you to enter.”

Gwen blinked and then frowned when the meaning of Morgana’s words registered.

“You’re not coming with me?”

Morgana raised her eyebrows. “I thought you would think that a good thing.” When she noticed that Gwen wasn’t that easily distracted, Morgana sighed and looked at the fallen tree in the distance. “No, he says that it is not yet time for me to reveal myself.”

“‘He’? Arthur?”

Gwen couldn’t read Morgana’s expression, but she got the distinct impression that Morgana was not happy with the situation.

“No. Arthur is the one I cannot yet reveal myself to.”

Gwen stared at her. “You’ve never met Arthur? But you’d make him king?”

Something flashed in Morgana’s eyes only to vanish a moment later.

“We communicate via a messenger. I trust him.” Gwen wondered which ‘him’ she meant. Morgana shook her head. “Now go, Guinevere. I will see you again soon.”

Gwen felt nervousness flare in her stomach. It felt ridiculous to feel safer with Morgana than without her when Gwen had been ready to fight her only hours before, but she had no idea what was waiting for her in that glade, and Morgana at least offered her some sense of familiarity.

There wasn’t really any turning back at this point, though, and the hope of seeing Elyan again was eating away at her caution until there was barely any left, so she started walking towards the fallen tree, the small purple stone clasped tightly in her hand. When she glanced back over her shoulder, Morgana was still standing there, alone, watching Gwen leave.

Gwen was struck by how lonely Morgana looked in that moment, but maybe it was just a trick of the setting sun’s warm light filtering through the trees that made everything seem more vulnerable.

 

* * *

 

Once she’d reached the fallen tree, Gwen wasn’t sure what to do. She looked around but there was nothing resembling a glade in sight and the stone in her hand wasn’t doing anything special. She walked around the fallen tree, but nothing.

If the goal of this exercise had been to make Gwen feel ridiculous, it was certainly successful. She turned back to tell Morgana exactly what she thought of this, but the spot where she’d been standing was empty. Morgana was nowhere in sight.

“Great,” Gwen mumbled. “Amazing. Wonderful.”

She was on her own in the middle of the woods, but Gwen knew how to survive in a forest. It was going to be completely dark soon, so she’d rest, and in the morning, she was just going to walk in one direction until she reached the edge of the forest. Then she’d figure out where she was.

She could lie to Uther and tell him that the rumours of a sorceress living in the woods were false, nothing more than an exaggeration born out of the fear of common people. Since ‘commoners’ were only second to magical people in Uther’s imaginary hierarchy of horribleness, it would probably work. No one had to know that Morgana, of all sorceresses, lived in this forest.

Gwen’s stomach churned at the thought of going back to that man’s castle after being deceived into believing that change was possible and imminent by Morgana. How dare she tell her Elyan was alive when it had all been a lie?

She didn’t understand what kind of game Morgana was playing. Maybe she would be ambushed later, but if Gwen’s death was the ultimate goal, then Morgana could have killed her numerous times already. None of the possibilities Gwen could come up with explained why Morgana would go to all this trouble and give Gwen… hope. Hope. Gwen had almost forgotten what it felt like, and it was painful to have it ripped out of her hands so soon after finally finding it again.

With a sigh, she stepped over the fallen tree, too tired to walk around it again. All of a sudden, the stone Gwen was still holding grew so hot it was almost unbearable. She tried to drop it but was unable to open her hand. As quickly as it had grown hot, the stone cooled down again, and Gwen finally let out the breath she’d been holding. Gasping, she checked her hand for a burn mark, but there wasn’t one.

When she looked up, she froze. She was standing in a glade bigger than any she had ever seen before. It was lit by numerous lanterns and a big fire in the centre. Gwen looked back and saw the fallen tree, but beyond that, there was only a wall of light as purple as the stone in her hand.

Also, a group of people was staring at her. A person stepped forward and at the sight of their blond hair, Gwen’s breath left her again.

“Arthur?” Gwen asked, gaping slightly. “You’re really… not dead.”

Arthur’s eyebrows shot up and he smirked. “Amazing. What a gift of observation you have, Guinevere.”

Gwen scowled and remembered why she had felt like launching him into the sun on more than one occasion.

“Gwen?” Someone else left the group, a grin plastered on their face.

Gwen was starting to suspect that this day might be a dream. How could any of this really be happening?

“Merlin? What… what are you doing here?”

“We could ask you the same thing,” a different man—one of Arthur’s knights—said, moving in front of Arthur.

Gwen held up the purple stone. “I was sent here by—”

“Me!” Merlin interrupted her. “When I went out yesterday, I met Gwen, and I told her to come here.”

Carefully keeping her expression under control, Gwen said nothing to contradict him. The ‘him’ Morgana had been talking about… could it be Merlin?

Merlin had left Camelot weeks before Arthur and Gwen had thought she’d never see him again. They’d been friends, both of them servants, and Gwen had never understood why he’d suddenly left without saying anything. She’d suspected Uther of having decided Merlin wasn’t a good influence—or too good of one, depending on who you asked—on his son and then getting rid of him, but Uther was suspected of many things and convicted of none. Merlin’s presence here was nothing short of bewildering.

The man shielding Arthur with his body frowned. “How did you find this place?”

“I gave her detailed instructions, of course, who do you take me for,” Merlin answered in her stead. “Gwen is going to help us win our fight against Uther.”

The man didn’t look convinced. “It’s a forest. How can you give detailed instructions?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Who are you questioning here, Leon, me or Gwen?”

“Enough,” Arthur said, and everyone froze. Gwen had forgotten the effect his voice could have on people. “Merlin, why didn’t you tell us yesterday that you had met Gwen?”

Merlin opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and said, “I forgot.”

Everyone stared at him. Merlin held up his hands in a placating gesture.

“You know my thoughts are everywhere at once,” he continued. “All of our planning, the dragons, my magic, dinner… It was simply a case of out of sight, out of mind.”

Arthur shook his head. “Merlin… I don’t understand how you can be one of the most powerful people alive and still be so… you.”

It was clear he believed him. Gwen didn’t really find Merlin’s lies convincing, but either Arthur was simply oblivious or his perception of Merlin was seriously skewed. Then again, Gwen’s had been, too, it seemed; she was beginning to see that Merlin was not at all who she’d thought he was.

She only realised the conversation had continued on without her when the man in front of Arthur—Leon, apparently—said, “She’s obviously one of Uther’s people. Look at her clothes.”

A murmur broke out among the crowd. They didn’t exactly sound friendly, but all Gwen could focus on was looking for Elyan’s face among them. She couldn’t find him.

“Gwen, why don’t you leave your weapon here and go over to the stream and have some water,” Merlin said. “We’re going to discuss what to do about you in the meantime.”

Several people looked like they wanted to protest, but Merlin put a finger to his lips and shushed them all. He looked at Arthur like he was expecting something.

Arthur seemed to understand, because he turned to the group and said, “Everyone stay calm. Let’s do as Merlin says for now and talk this through. I’ve known Gwen since we were children and I will not have us acting rashly about this.”

There was some grumbling, but everyone seemed to accept it. They were loyal to Arthur and yet didn’t seem to trust Merlin, at least some of them. Arthur, on the other hand, didn’t seem to realise how Merlin was subtly manipulating him, or maybe he knew and simply trusted Merlin’s judgement.

When no one said anything, Gwen took off her sword and laid it on the ground, suppressing a relieved sigh. The feeling of so many eyes on her, accompanied by the stifling silence, had nervousness make her heart beat erratically and her hands start to tremble slightly.

Hesitating for nothing more than the blink of an eye, she started towards the stream. Quiet muttering started up behind her and she could only hope that they decided to trust her or at least let her stay.

Upon reaching the stream, Gwen simply stared at the water for a while, letting its soft sounds and constant movement relieve some of the tension in her body. When she caught movement in her peripheral vision, she turned and—

All the air left her lungs.

“Elyan?”

The man looked up from where he was washing his tunic and Gwen felt a strangled sound escape her. It really was him. Her brother. Elyan. She’d thought… Gwen ran towards him and hugged him so tightly Elyan grunted. A beat later, he hugged her back just as fiercely.

Gwen buried her face in his shoulder. Her throat closed up and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes.

“You’re alive. You’re alive. You’re alive.”

Elyan chuckled. “Last I checked.” He grabbed her shoulders and gently pushed her away from him so he could look her up and down. His eyes snagged on her hair. “What happened?”

Gwen touched her short hair and shrugged. The last time Elyan had seen her, her hair had reached her waist; now it barely even passed her jawline and was curlier than ever because of it.

“I cut it off and sold it so I could afford supplies.” Gwen raised her eyebrows at Elyan’s hair in turn. He’d always shaved it consistently because that was quick and easy and required less care, but now he’d actually let it grow out a little. “And you?”

“Haven’t really had the opportunity to properly shave it off since we escaped. I kind of like it, actually,” he replied, running his hand over his head. Then his expression turned serious. “I would have come back for you and father eventually. You know that, right? Is father…?”

The mention of their father made Gwen’s heart feel heavy again. She shook her head.

“He’s alive. Uther has him, though. That’s why I’m wearing this,” she said, gesturing down at her clothes.

Elyan took a step back and stared at her. “You’re one of his people?”

The look of betrayal and confusion in his eye hurt Gwen more than almost anything else could have.

Grabbing her arms, he asked, “Do they know? Have they seen you?” Then he shook his head. “You have to leave before they find out. I can’t protect you if Arthur decides you’re too big a risk.”

“Elyan, I am not, nor will I ever be, one of his people. You should know me better than that,” she said, unable to completely mask the hurt in her voice. “He told me he would kill our father if I didn’t go out and fight magical people in his name, which is why I ran into… Merlin in this forest, and why I’m here. I didn’t know what to do.”

“You could have died, Gwen,” Elyan said. “If it hadn’t been Merlin…” Gwen turned her head away.

“I know. But I couldn’t live with myself if Uther killed our father because of me.”

“No.” Elyan’s voice sounded so stern that Gwen looked back at him in surprise. “It would never have been because of you, but always because of Uther’s own cruelty.”

Gwen swallowed thickly. “Elyan, I hate him so much. I—” She cut herself off. “I couldn’t even make myself truly fight for father’s sake, today, in the forest, because it just isn’t right. I can’t—”

Elyan wrapped her up in a hug. “Don’t worry,” he murmured in an effort to calm her. “We’ll fight Uther and we’ll free father and we’ll make it so no one ever has to be stuck in an impossible situation like yours again. I’m so sorry this happened to you, Gwen. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help.”

Quiet sobs racked Gwen’s body for the first time in a long time. She’d been holding her bone-deep sorrow in, never feeling safe enough to be vulnerable in Uther’s castle or in front of her father’s cell in the dungeon. Her father, who already had it hard enough, forced to forge weapons day and night. But here, in her brother’s arms, she finally let herself weep. Her despair felt like it was rising up her throat like an endless scream, escaping over her tear ducts instead of her throat.

When she felt drops fall on her head, she looked up and saw tears running down her brother’s face as well. She felt a shaky smile form on her face; he’d never been able to stop himself from crying along with her.

“Everything’s going to be all right,” she said and found herself actually believing it.

They were interrupted by Merlin’s arrival, who clapped Elyan on the shoulder and said, “Elyan, would you go join the others for a bit? I have to talk to Gwen alone.”

It took a while for Elyan pry his gaze away from Gwen, but when he did, he surreptitiously dried his eyes, wrung out his tunic and leaned forward to kiss her forehead like he used to when they were younger.

“We’ll talk more later,” he said quietly, and then, in a louder voice, pointing at Merlin, “If you hurt my sister, you have me to answer to.”

Merlin blinked in mock innocence. “Me? Hurt someone? I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Elyan huffed and, with a last glance at Gwen, walked away. Merlin watched his retreating figure and turned to Gwen when Elyan was out of earshot.

“So,” he started. “I imagine you have some questions.”

“You’re a sorcerer,” Gwen said.

Merlin nodded.

“You convinced Arthur to… what, betray Uther and plan to overthrow him?”

“Something like that, yes,” Merlin said.

“You lied about who you are.” Merlin opened his mouth as if to protest, but Gwen kept going. “Of course I understand lying about your magic, but what I saw back there made me think it goes deeper than that. It’s obvious to me that you’re hiding things, parts of yourself and your motivations, and my question is, why?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Merlin said lightly, plastering a smile on his face, but when Gwen didn’t smile back, he sighed. “You don’t trust me. I understand. A lot of what you thought you knew about me was a lie or at least only part of the truth. But not all of it, Gwen.”

“I thought Uther had you killed, Merlin. I thought…” She broke off, looking away. “And now you’re here, powerful, in control, and I don’t know how real the person I used to trust was.”

Gwen cursed his ability to keep his face blank because she could glean absolutely nothing from his expression. Eventually, he shrugged.

“Fair’s fair, I guess. But know this: I am trying to help everyone. Maybe not for the purest reasons known to humans, but I am, and I can’t tell you what exactly this is all about because I gave my word I wouldn’t. I can promise you this: It is not my intention for anyone in this glade to die.”

The word ‘promise’ felt like a jolt when memories of Morgana came rushing back; it reminded her of something else she wanted to ask.

“Why are you keeping Morgana away from Arthur?”

Merlin paused, temporarily losing control over his expression before schooling it back into a neutral mask. Then, for no reason Gwen could discern, he suddenly started laughing. After a while, he wiped the back of his hand over his eyes and looked at Gwen with eyes that twinkled in the light of the many lanterns burning in the glade.

“Gwen. Oh, Gwen,” he said. Gwen just looked at him, unimpressed. “The reason is because Arthur is a giant infant who reacts unpredictably to life-changing news.”

Gwen raised an eyebrow. “And you’d make him king?” she asked for the second time that day. “Even if that’s your opinion of him?”

Merlin smiled and lifted a finger. “Ah, but my opinion of him is complicated. Yes, he can be a giant infant, but he can also be the most ancient man you have ever known. He rallies people around him. He is someone they want to follow. So yes, I would make him king. Every single person in this glade would die for him, did you know that?”

Gwen studied him. “Does that include you?”

Merlin hesitated, then placed the smile that had fallen off back on his lips. “That’s the question, isn’t it?”

Supressing the urge to roll her eyes, Gwen sighed. “You seem to be incapable of doing anything but avoiding answering my questions directly, though I’m sure you have convoluted reasons for that.”

“One of my many faults,” Merlin said with a shrug. “The point is, Arthur is powerful, is dangerous, because people will follow him till their last breath. Now, you could argue that a select few people follow Uther loyally, too, but a decisive difference between father and son is this: Arthur doesn’t abuse his power. He doesn’t ask for too much. He cares about the people who follow him, probably more than he cares about himself, and he also cares about the people who don’t follow him. He wants to help. He wants to heal, to mend.” Merlin paused and looked at Gwen with a serious expression. “And that, my dear Gwen, is why I’d make him king.”

Gwen swallowed and looked away. The look in Merlin’s eyes was too intense to stand.

“But have you ever thought about what this is doing to Morgana?” Merlin’s gaze turned sharp at that and Gwen lifted her hands. “I haven’t known her for long, but I know loneliness. I know feeling isolated and alone, and the more I think about it… I can tell she’s extraordinarily powerful and I’m sure she’s invaluable for your plans, but don’t you think that they’d work better if she were actually a part of the group?”

Gwen paused before continuing, “She trusts you. Yet, how loyal can you be to someone you’ve only ever heard described? Shouldn’t she be allowed to meet Arthur if she’s putting her life on the line for him?”

“I know what I’m doing. This isn’t your concern.”

“Why are you leaving her all alone?” Gwen persisted.

“Who said she was alone?”

“I can tell she feels isolated. I’m sure of it.”

Merlin shook his head. “I am not discussing this with you, because you don’t see the whole picture.”

“Because you won’t tell me.”

“Gwen, I’m glad you’re here,” Merlin said, trying for a placating tone of voice. “I really am. I asked Morgana to spare your life because I consider you my friend. But that doesn’t mean I trust you.”

How much of a friend was someone if you didn’t trust them? Gwen wondered if Merlin even trusted anyone at all. Finally, she nodded.

“I guess these clothes don’t help,” she said, looking down at herself.

Merlin’s smile was ice. What she saw in his eyes chilled Gwen to the bone.

“I’ve killed Uther’s people before, to protect us, and I have no qualms about killing more.” Gwen opened her mouth, but Merlin shook his head again. “I don’t care if they’re being controlled, like you with your father. If it’s the only option, I will kill them. They made their choice, and when it comes down to it, they will fight for Uther. It’s either kill them or stand there and let them kill us because, oh no, maybe they don’t wholeheartedly enjoy ending our lives. When it’s us or them, I will choose us, always. You should do the same.”

That last part sounded like a warning and Gwen swallowed.  She never used to be scared of Merlin, but… Had she even known him at all? Something he’d said snagged her attention and she watched Merlin closely.

“How did you know about my father? Were you listening to Elyan and me talk?”

“Yes.”

The easy admission made Gwen pause. “Oh.” She hadn’t really expected him to be honest. He laughed and Gwen had the sneaking suspicion that maybe that was exactly why he had been. “Isn’t there anyone you trust?”

Merlin blinked a couple of times and Gwen felt some satisfaction at having caught him by surprise.

“Two people,” he said eventually, holding two fingers up. Then he lifted another. “Maybe three. What about you?”

Gwen considered, but… She trusted Elyan and her father, at least she was pretty sure she did, but at some point during the past few months, she’d lost the certainty her unwavering trust in herself had afforded her, and as a result, all kinds of trust seemed fleeting to her, fickle, easily challenged. She frowned.

“I don’t know how to tell anymore.”

Something in Merlin’s expression shifted. He studied her for a while, then turned away and set off towards some tents close to the centre of the clearing.

“Come on. I’ve convinced them to let you join us. Thanks are appreciated but will only be accepted in the form of berries.”

Gwen stood there, frozen, and then started off after him, suppressing a smile.

“So you do love those, then.”

Merlin glanced back at her and smiled. “I told you not everything was a lie. Partial truths go a long way.”

Someone out of sight called Merlin’s name and he sighed.

“Looks like I’m needed elsewhere,” he said. “Just go into the biggest tent, that’s Arthur’s, naturally, or we’d never hear the end of it. He wants to talk to you. See you later.”

He set off at a sprint, leaving Gwen behind. She shrugged and simply kept going, figuring she was going to have to talk to Arthur sooner or later anyway.

She didn’t get very far, though, as a tall man with shoulder-length brown hair that he kept swishing about stepped into her path and smiled.

“Hello, I’m Gwaine. And you are?” He held up a hand when Gwen tried to reply. “Indubitably the most beautiful person I have ever seen. How lucky we are for you to grace us with your presence.”

Gwen stared at him, speechless. She had never seen someone flirt so openly and so… badly before. He flicked his hair out of his face and looked at her expectantly.

While shaking herself out of her stupor, Gwen felt a breath escape her, then another, and then—surprising even herself—she started laughing. Eventually, she doubled over and tears rose to her eyes as she clutched her sides; she couldn’t recall the last time she’d laughed openly and freely like this.

He was attractive enough, she supposed. It was just that anything romantic or sexual had been so far from her mind for a while now that she couldn’t help but think it a bit ridiculous. It had seemed so unimportant compared to the fate of the kingdom or her father’s life, but maybe that was just what she’d been telling herself so she wouldn’t miss it.

A tall bald man showed up next to Gwaine, grinning. “And you thought all those big words would improve your chances.”

Gwaine huffed. “There’s no accounting for taste.” Then he winked at Gwen. “I had a feeling that wouldn’t work on you, but I had to try, eh? You don’t come across someone this gorgeous more than a couple times a lifetime. I have to at least try to woo every beautiful person I meet, such is the Gwaine Code.”

The bald man rolled his eyes. “Not the Gwaine Code again.”

“This is Percival, by the way,” Gwaine told Gwen, who had finally stopped laughing and righted herself again.

She nodded, grateful for the introduction. She was relieved he didn’t assume she knew who they were, because she had had little to do with Arthur’s knights before they left.

Percival looked at Gwaine with narrowed eyes. “Just my name? No ‘baby who hit their growth spurt surprisingly early’? No ‘giant who’s so tall that nature took mercy on him and didn’t give him hair because no one would be able to ever reach his head to cut it’?”

Gwaine gasped. “I’d never!”

“I’m Gwen,” Gwen said, deciding to interrupt the two men before their teasing turned into a fight. “Elyan’s sister.”

Gwaine smiled easily. “Then attractiveness runs in the family.”

Percival rolled his eyes and grabbed Gwaine’s shoulder to start dragging him away.

“Come on,” he grumbled at Gwaine. To Gwen, he said, “Sorry about him.”

Gwen found herself smiling after them. She raised her fingers to her face to feel the smile there, to make sure it was real. After the heaviness of the past few months, this day still seemed like a dream.

People in the glade were watching her, but Gwen forced herself to ignore them as she walked towards Arthur’s tent. Finally reaching it, she pulled back the flap and let it fall closed behind her.

Arthur was standing with his fists leaning on a table, staring at a map. He looked up at her and, for a moment, they just stood there. Then a smile broke out on his face.

“Gwen,” he said. “It’s good to see you again.”

They’d met as children, when Arthur had been fascinated by her father’s—a blacksmith’s—work. They’d played together with wooden swords sometimes, but eventually Arthur stopped coming around. The next time she met him, she was a servant in the castle and he was the prince—aloof, far away. Only through Merlin did they come into closer contact again, and Gwen thought they’d found an easy kind of friendship, as much as you could have with a power imbalance such as theirs defining their relationship.

“Arthur,” she said. Then, suddenly unsure, “Prince Arthur?”

Arthur waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “Arthur is fine. I’m no longer officially in line for the throne, thanks to my fath— Uther. Since he declared me dead and all, of which Merlin, of course, kindly informed me. Rubbed it in my face, some would go so far as to say.”

“You trust him,” Gwen said. She didn’t know what Arthur heard in her voice, but his gaze turned intent.

“You do not?”

Gwen hesitated. “I don’t know. He’s different from back at Camelot.”

Arthur hummed. “In some ways. But in others, he only started making sense when I found out the truth about him.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Gwen said, and then gestured at her clothes, deciding to cut to the chase. I’m not sure how fast word travels in your camp, but I’ll assume you weren’t yet told that Uther forcibly controls most of his supposed ‘people’.”

“What do you mean, ‘controls’?”

Gwen was starting to tire of explaining and honestly hoped someone would gossip about it so she wouldn’t have to keep repeating it over and over again. In Camelot, she would know just who to go to so they’d spread the word, but she still had to pinpoint the blabbermouths at this camp, though Gwaine had already made it onto the list of potentials.

“In my case, for example, he locked my father in the dungeon and told me to go out to fight magical people or he’d kill him. That’s how he ‘recruits’ people now, since next to no one volunteers anymore and he’s single-mindedly committed to being horrible. I can count those truly loyal to him on one hand, and even then they’re mostly opportunists.”

It felt so good to speak her true opinions of Uther out loud; she never wanted to have to hold them in again.

Arthur looked down, his expression torn between shame, grief and anger. Eventually, he ground out, “I’m sorry.”

Gwen shook her head. “Your apology changed nothing. It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility to take over and change things for the better. We all hoped for the day Uther’s life ended and you became king, but when word got out that instead of Uther it was you who had died…”

Guilt visibly made itself comfortable on Arthur’s face. “If we manage to— No, when we manage to do this, I swear I will change things. This is no kingdom, this is one man living out his power fantasies at the expense of countless innocents.”

Gwen stared at him. She had never, in all the years she’d known Arthur, heard him talk about his father that way. He had always been blind to his father’s faults, by choice or because of obliviousness or fear or all three.

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she couldn’t help but smile while shaking her head.

“I was right, back then on his first day. Merlin is good for you.”

Arthur blinked, flushed, then bristled. “Don’t give him all the credit.”

That glimpse of the old Arthur shouldn’t have felt as reassuring as it did, but she was tired of feeling like she didn’t really know, and hadn’t ever known, anyone at all.

Even though Merlin had told her it wasn’t any of her business, Gwen couldn’t help trying to figure out the whole Morgana situation. Her thoughts invariably returned to it with Arthur standing right in front of her. She just couldn’t make sense of it, why Merlin would hide Morgana from Arthur when she would so clearly be an asset.

Carefully, she asked, “Have you ever heard of the sorceress Morgana?”

Arthur scoffed. “How couldn’t I have? She’s the only known magical person Uther doesn’t have a bounty on. No one could ever stop gossiping about her. Why?”

“She’s famously anti-Uther,” Gwen said after hesitating briefly, “so I just thought maybe you’d be working with her.”

“I have only met few of our magical allies,” Arthur said, sounding slightly uncomfortable. “Merlin said a lot of them don’t trust me and he needs some time to convince them I am… worth fighting for. For all I know, we might very well be working with her.”

“I see.” She paused, then, “Arthur, we should spare some people in the fight for Camelot. A lot of them don’t support Uther at all. If everything works out and we breach the castle and they recognise you, those who don’t will lay down their arms, I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t intend to take a single life more than necessary.” Arthur’s voice sounded firm. “I know fa— Uther will have to die. I insisted on simply locking him in the dungeon for the longest time, but I now know that his death is the only way for a real new start. I… will kill him myself if I have to.” He swallowed and looked away.

Gwen felt her heart break for him, just a little. She loathed Uther’s entire existence, but he was Arthur’s father, which didn’t mean anything in and of itself, but Arthur had always had complicated feelings for him that didn’t all boil down to resentment.

“If there is any way, I will take his death off your conscience,” she said, and meant it. She was pretty sure Uther was the one person she would have no reservations killing. She didn’t even care if Arthur never talked to her again because of it.

Arthur smiled humourlessly. “Merlin said the exact same thing.” After a slight pause, he tried to change the topic by adding, “Maybe I should use this to find out who my true friends are. It could be a test.”

Gwen let him. “That might not be a bad idea, if a bit morbid and intense.”

The tent flap was lifted and a knight stuck his head in—the one who had shielded Arthur with his body before, Leon.

“Arthur, Queen Mithian answered our message.”

The way Arthur’s face lit up at that was impressive. “Yes! Finally. Hopefully it’s good news,” he said, and rushed out of the tent. “Sorry, Gwen, we can speak again later,” he called over his shoulder.

Leon was still holding the tent flap up and looking at Gwen in a way she couldn’t quite figure out.

“I apologise for before,” he said gruffly. “And I’m sorry about your father. I am not sure if I respect your decision,” he gestured at her clothes—she really had to change—“but I understand it.”

Gwen once again resisted the urge to roll her eyes. This knight’s respect was probably the last thing she cared about. Instead, she nodded curtly. “Arthur is lucky to have someone look out for him the way you do.”

It was Leon’s turn to nod, after which he turned away and left. At least word about her situation had started spreading; she wasn’t sure she had the patience to explain it yet another time.

Gwen stood in the tent for a moment, unsure as to what she was supposed to do. Sleep, probably, but where? Eventually, she shrugged and left it, figuring someone outside would tell her.

As soon as she exited the tent, someone grabbed her arm. Gwen stiffened, thinking magical snake-like hair might really come in handy sometimes.

“Gwen,” Merlin said, and she forcibly relaxed her body. He looked around, then leaned in a little closer. “Morgana wants to see you.”

Gwen frowned. “Why?”

“She didn’t say.”

“It’s dark. Can’t this wait until tomorrow?”

Merlin shrugged. “I don’t know. You are the one who said she was lonely.”

Gwen narrowed her eyes at him but he once again refused to let anything show on his face. Finally, she sighed and said, “Fine.”

He started walking, presumably leading her to wherever Morgana was, so Gwen followed.

“What do you think about the knights?” Merlin asked after a while.

Gwen looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “Just ask me about Arthur if you want to know.”

Merlin blinked once before he let out a short laugh. “Oh, Gwen, you do know me, don’t you? Fine, then. What do you think of Arthur?”

“He’s matured,” Gwen said after a moment’s pause. “Become a little more like the best version of himself, I’d say. You did well.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “What makes you think I had anything to do with it?”

“He trusts you like he trusts no one else. It’s pretty easy to notice.” A beat of silence later, she added, “Just make sure you don’t abuse that trust.”

It felt like something in Merlin’s eyes softened. She’d expected him to laugh and say something like _I could never!_ , but instead he said, earnestly, “I’ll do my best.”

And that, more than anything else he could have said, laid a lot of Gwen’s doubts about Merlin to rest.

They reached the shiny purple border and Gwen grimaced. She wasn’t looking forward to feeling like the stone was burning her hand off again.

“Halt!” someone called out. Gwen turned around and saw a knight trudge towards them, her blonde hair pulled back in a tight braid. “Where are you going?”

“I need Gwen here to run an errand for me,” Merlin said easily.

The knight narrowed her eyes at Gwen. Gwen wasn’t surprised; after so long with the same few people, any new addition ought to seem suspicious at first.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Merlin?”

Merlin smiled, but there was no mirth behind it. “Why, yes, I am, thank you for asking.”

The knight flushed and stepped back. “Excuse me.”

“You are excused,” Merlin said, lowering his head.

When the knight had hurried off, Gwen turned to Merlin.

“You’re not going to make yourself popular if you treat them like that. Is taking on Arthur’s condescension yourself how you made him lose some of it, or…?”

Merlin put a hand to his chest. “I was just defending your honour, Guinevere.”

“They might distrust me,” Gwen said, “but they don’t really trust you, either.”

His expression darkening, Merlin replied, “I am aware.”

“It’s probably because of the stories that Uther propagates about magical people. They might not believe them, but they can’t really shake them either, I suppose. It isn’t fair and it isn’t right, I know, but there’s nothing we can do about it for now. They’ll get over it with time.”

Merlin smiled, a little more genuinely this time. “‘We,’ she says. They might not trust me, but you, the one who admitted to having her doubts, you just might.” He shook his head and made a shooing motion with his hands. “Now, don’t keep Morgana waiting. She’ll find you once you’re on the other side of the border.”

Gwen sighed and fished the stone out of her pocket. Holding her breath to brace for the pain, she stepped through.

It turned out leaving the glade was not the same as entering.

Instead of becoming scorching hot, the stone now turned ice-cold, causing a different kind of burning. Just when Gwen thought she’d never be able to feel part of her hand again, the feeling was gone again and she stood on the other side of the protective border. Looking back through the darkness, she couldn’t see anything but more woods. There wasn’t a sign of a glade or a purple shimmer.

She looked around, but she couldn’t exactly see much in the woods in the middle of the night.

Morgana wasn’t there, so she decided to sit down, pulling her knees close to her chest and resting a cheek on them.

A yawn escaped her and she realised for the first time how tired she really was. Her body felt like it wanted to sink into the ground and not get up again for years to come.

She didn’t realise her eyes had fallen closed until a voice startled her back into awareness.

“Gwen.”

Gwen looked up, trying to blink the bleariness out of her eyes. Morgana was standing in front of her, illuminated by little floating balls of light that didn’t seem to be able to hold still. They flitted around her, forward towards Gwen, back to Morgana, up, down, left, right, and back again.

Stifling a yawn, Gwen said, “You wanted to see me?”

Morgana hesitated before nodding. She motioned for Gwen to follow her, then walked off.

Somehow, Gwen managed to stand up. She fought the dizzy feeling that immediately rose up—and that made everything seem less attached to the ground and more like it could float away at any second—and followed Morgana.

Morgana was silent as she walked through the woods and Gwen unsuccessfully tried to fight off her rising annoyance.

If Morgana only wanted to take a stroll through a dark forest brightened only by tiny, erratic balls of light, Gwen would much rather be sleeping. She felt her eyes drift closed again while she walked. She fought to keep them open but was slowly losing the battle, her head sagging, bumping against her chest.

“We're almost there,” Morgana said, startling Gwen back upright.

Gwen shook her head and rubbed at her eyes. After a couple more minutes, she finally saw where Morgana was taking her. It was a small clearing, well hidden behind a thick growth of bushes and trees.

The entrance to a cave was visible at the other side of the clearing, and she assumed that this must be where Morgana lived.

With a hum, Gwen let herself sink to the ground and tilted her head back to look at the stars.

“Could be worse,” she said. “At least you’ve got a nice view.”

Morgana paused, then sat down an arm’s length away from Gwen.

“You haven’t seen the cave yet. I would reserve all judgment until then.”

“I’m sure you managed to wrangle a bit of charm out of it,” Gwen said, glancing over at her.

Morgana turned her face away. “You will just have to see for yourself.”

“Later,” Gwen sighed. “You’d have to personally lift me up if you wanted me to get up right now.” And with that, she let herself fall back. From where she was lying, she couldn’t see a single tree, only the night sky, and for a moment, it felt as if nothing existed but the stars.

After a long silence, she heard rustling beside her, and when she turned her head slightly, she could see Morgana lying down carefully, almost reluctantly, as well.

“Don’t worry,” Gwen said, patting the ground, “it’s in a good mood so it won’t open up and swallow you today.”

Morgana pointedly ignored her, but finally let herself sink down completely.

“I've never done this before,” Morgana admitted. “I have lived here for a while now but I’ve never done this.”

Gwen shook her head. “Then you haven’t lived.”

A pause. “No,” Morgana said. “No, I guess I have not.”

Gwen turned to look at Morgana properly, but the little balls of lights had raced each other into the cave as soon as they had reached the clearing. Apart from the faint glow emanating from the cave, nothing but the moon and the stars served as light, and they only gave away the barest hints of Morgana’s expression.

Despite that, Gwen found herself unable to look away.

“Why did you want to see me, Morgana?”

Morgana’s gaze slowly moved from the stars down to Gwen.

“I want…” Morgana seemed to be having trouble with whatever she wanted to say. She swallowed. “I want you to tell me about them.”

“The knights,” Gwen guessed. “Arthur.”

Morgana nodded and turned looked back up at the stars.

“Merlin never tells me anything,” she said quietly.

“How do you know him?”

“We met as adolescents while I was living with my sister.”

“You have a sister?” Gwen asked. “Where is she now?”

Morgana’s expression shuttered. “Dead.” Before Gwen could say anything, Morgana continued, “After her death, Merlin came to see me again and he told me something about me that changed everything.”

Curiosity flared in Gwen. “What did he tell you?”

“I think it's your turn now,” Morgana said, her lips quirking upwards.

Gwen sighed. “I don’t know how many knights Arthur has, but quite a few. They all seem fiercely loyal to him. The only ones I know by name are Elyan—my brother—, Gwaine, Leon and Percival. If you ever meet Gwaine, prepare to be wooed. Badly.”

Morgana raised her eyebrows but didn’t move her eyes away from the stars.

“Apparently he has this ‘Gwaine Code’ which dictates that he has to try his luck with every beautiful person he meets,” Gwen said. “Based on a comment of his, I’m pretty sure he tried to seduce my brother before me.”

At this, Morgana turned her head and met Gwen’s gaze. “You think I’m beautiful.”

Gwen blinked and stubbornly fought off the heat threatening to creep into her cheeks.

“You said this Gwaine woos every beautiful person he meets.” Morgana said. “You warned me he would do it to me. Thus, you think I am beautiful.”

“You don’t?” Gwen let out a slow breath. Now it was her turn to turn her gaze on the stars instead. “Of course you’re beautiful. Your beauty has even inspired legends.”

“Legends?” Morgana sounded incredulous.

Gwen nodded. “‘Beware the sorceress Morgana. Her beauty is such that as soon as your gaze lands upon her countenance, all is lost; her spell is cast, you lay down your sword, and you are bewitched.’” Morgana was silent and Gwen grimaced. “You’re the only known sorceress that Uther hasn’t put a bounty on, so the rumours about you have taken on ridiculous proportions.”

Morgana sat up. When Gwen turned to look at her, she found Morgana staring.

“He what?”

“I thought you knew,” Gwen said with a shrug. “Everyone’s known about you for quite some time, but Uther never promised a reward for your capture. In fact, he never even mentions you. I guess that’s why most don’t even go looking for you, because no one’s sure how Uther would react. Some say it’s because he’s one of those who ‘gazed upon your countenance’ and that’s why he’d never want you hurt.”

Morgana’s face twisted into something resembling disgust and she turned away. Gwen understood; the thought of Uther being attracted to anyone was uncomfortable, to say the least, but the thought of him being attracted to her… It was revolting.

“When I… stumbled upon you, so to say, I figured I’d try my luck and hope he wouldn’t chop my head off because he really didn’t want you harmed. But, well, we both know how that turned out.”

Morgana was quiet for a moment. Then she said, “Tell me about Arthur.”

Blinking at the sudden change in topic, Gwen thought about how to best describe Arthur to someone who had never met him. Everything about him was about his physical presence, the effect he had on people. How could someone like him seem real if you weren’t there to witness him directly? Then again, she was talking to a sorceress, after all.

“He’s… everything Uther is not. He’s far from perfect, mind you, but he tries. He’s—or at least he used to be—too arrogant, but he wants to help people, he wants to make things better for them. He’s loyal. And he was blind to Uther’s faults for the longest time, though they did use to be better hidden.” Gwen paused. “To be honest, he was always so desperate to finally win his approval, or love, I guess, that I thought he’d never see his father for what he really is. Until Merlin.”

Morgana hummed. “Merlin changed him?”

“Definitely.”

“He changed Merlin too, you know. Maybe that is the way it’s supposed to be.”

Gwen hummed, not sure she knew what Morgana was talking about but too tired to ask. When her next yawn threatened to unhinge her jaw, she tried to force herself to sit up, groaning all the while. “I should probably go back and catch some sleep. Unless there’s anything else you need me for?”

With a huff of breath, Gwen gave up and let herself fall back. Sitting up simply took too much effort. She rolled onto her side and curled up facing Morgana, who was still lying on her back. Gwen pillowed her cheek on her hands.

“Then again, I might as well sleep here. It’s not like a tent’s much better. And unless your magic can somehow carry me back to camp or you’re hiding some serious muscles under those billowing sleeves, I’m not sure I’d be able to make it anyway.”

Morgana turned her head away from the stars and simply looked at her for a while. Then she also shifted onto her side, facing Gwen.

“You should sleep in the cave, it’s more comfortable. Fewer insects there, as well.”

Gwen yawned again and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. “You’d have to roll me in there. I don’t think I can move a single muscle.” When Morgana opened her mouth to speak, Gwen shook her head. “It’s fine, though. This is nice. The moon and stars above me. Soft-ish ground below. Something with lots of legs crawling up my leg. It’s fine. I’ve had worse.”

Compared to a dungeon, Gwen would take the forest floor any day. As always when she thought of dungeons, her thoughts returned to her father, who hadn’t slept comfortably in way too long. Gwen clenched her teeth and vowed to change that for good.

“Just… tell me this is real. Tell me we’re really going to fight Uther and win.”

A small smile crept onto Morgana’s features, barely discernible in the dark.

“We are going to fight Uther, and he is going to die.”

Hope was a warmth that spread through her, and in that moment it felt more comforting than any blanket. She thought she might have said thank you before sleep finally dragged her under and rendered her dead to the world.

 

* * *

 

The first thing Gwen felt when she woke up was a twig digging into her back, quickly followed by some considerable pain in her neck and… well, everywhere.

She squinted up at the sun, which had been rude enough to wake her. With a groan, she sat up and spat out some parts of forest that had ended up in her mouth overnight. The blanket covering her fell down into her lap, and she blinked at it in confusion; she didn’t remember having one when she’d fallen asleep.

Looking around slowly, Gwen realised where she was. Panic seized her as her mind fought to realign what had happened the day before with what had been her reality for far too long now.

While she fought to keep her breathing steady, Morgana emerged from the cave, looking just as impeccable as the night before. The only signs that she’d probably slept were the patterns pressed into her face by whatever her head had lain on and her grumpy, sleep-rumpled expression.

Gwen raised her eyebrows. “Not a morning person, are you?”

Morgana glared at her, then quickly deflated and shook her head.

“Not really,” she croaked. “Not a night person, either. Too many nightmares.”

“Well, I’m sure afternoon people have their uses, too,” Gwen said, earning her another glare.

“You should go back to your camp. There are too many non-magical people there, and they tend to be the suspicious sort.”

Gwen decided not to comment on that. Morgana wasn’t exactly wrong, after all.

“What about you?” Gwen asked and lifted her arms to stretch. “What are you going to do?”

“That isn’t your concern.”

Gwen snorted. “You’ve spent too much time with Merlin and too little time with anyone else.”

She managed to stand up, though it was the opposite of graceful. After sleeping on the cold, hard forest floor, her limbs were stiff and not very responsive.

“Why don’t you talk Merlin into letting you into camp? You don’t just have to do what he says,” Gwen continued. “Even though I’m pretty sure he’s convinced of it, he doesn’t, in fact, always know what’s best.”

Morgana averted her gaze. “I have tried. However… the situation is not as simple as you think.”

“Then enlighten me.”

Her lips pressed together in a tight line and Morgana scowled at Gwen. With a sigh, Gwen shrugged, picked up the blanket, and folded it.

“All right,” she said. “Suit yourself. If you’d rather stay lonely than stand up for yourself… Can’t say I didn’t try. Thanks for the blanket, by the way.”

Morgana stared at her. “Who said I was lonely?”

Rolling her eyes, Gwen made a vague gesture with her hands. “All of this. All of you. I know loneliness and I can definitely recognise it when it’s right in front of my eyes.”

Morgana opened her mouth, then closed it again. “You could—” She broke off and looked away.

“I could what?”

“It does not matter,” Morgana said, shaking her head.

Gwen felt like she had an idea where this was going. “I could spend more time with you? Is that what you wanted to say?”

Morgana’s cheeks flushed and her eyes widened. She stared at Gwen and Gwen had to say that she felt pretty smug right then.

“I’ve never tried my hand at curing loneliness before, but I could give it a go. I’m not half bad at healing, after all,” Gwen said, shrugging. “That said, I guess I’d need Merlin’s approval first, since he seems to be your guard dog of sorts. And I’m not sure how the knights will take me constantly running off by myself.”

Morgana bristled. “He’s not my guard dog. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“I don’t doubt that, but you seem to defer to his judgement in the end. He’s why you spared me, right? And he’s why you haven’t gone to meet Arthur and the others.”

Morgana was silent for a moment. Then, “The first time you attacked me, didn’t you wonder how you could get so close without me defending myself?”

“I mean, I’m not totally incompetent.”

“Yes, but you had no chance against me during our second encounter.”

Gwen wondered if she should get worked up about it, but, blunt or not, Morgana was telling the truth. So she just shrugged.

“When I saw you that first time…” Morgana hesitated. “You caught me off guard.”

A frown settled on Gwen’s face as she tried to make sense of that.

“I mean, obviously, right? I jumped out at you brandishing a sword. I’d honestly be more than a little embarrassed if you hadn’t been the least bit surprised by that.”

Morgana shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I saw you and—”

“Morgana! Gwen!” Merlin’s abrupt arrival interrupted whatever Morgana was going to say. He stumbled into the clearing, a twig sticking out of his hair, which made Gwen wonder what her own hair must look like. She decided she didn’t really care to know.

“Merlin,” Morgana said, and Gwen felt like she could detect a hint of annoyance in her tone.

Merlin looked from Morgana to Gwen. “Sorry to interrupt, but the others are starting to seriously wonder where Gwen is. I told them she was helping out one of our allies, a friend of mine, but none of the others have ever been allowed to meet anyone magical, and for someone new to be the exception…”

Gwen looked up at the clear sky and sighed. They were suspicious. It was only natural, she supposed.

“Well, let’s not keep them waiting, then,” Gwen said. She wasn’t sure how to say goodbye to Morgana, so she just smiled awkwardly at her. “I guess we’ll see each other again sooner or later.”

Morgana inclined her head. “We shall meet again.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Morgana,” Merlin said, and with that he turned away. Gwen followed him, because she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to find the way back to camp on her own.

They walked in silence for a while, as seemed to now be tradition with Gwen and magical people. Eventually, though, Merlin spoke.

“I’ve never seen her open up to someone so quickly in recent years.” He glanced at Gwen. “Morgana, I mean.”

Gwen lifted an eyebrow. “What, you actually let her meet people sometimes?”

Merlin glared at her but Gwen simply looked back, unimpressed. She didn’t think Merlin’s plans for Morgana—whatever they were—were fair if they entailed her being alone most of the time when she so obviously would rather have company.

“Of course. She lived with druids before Arthur and his knights moved to this forest.”

“You mean after her sister’s death?”

Merlin’s expression darkened at that. “What do you know about her sister?”

Gwen shrugged. “Just that Morgana lived with her until she died.”

Merlin hummed, but didn’t say anything else.

“Is it because of the way we met?” Gwen eventually asked.

Merlin tilted his head in obvious query.

“Is that why you’re surprised that she talks to me? You shouldn’t be. It’s not like she has a lot of other options. Wouldn’t you talk to just about anyone if there wasn’t anyone else?”

With a thoughtful expression, Merlin let out another hum.

“Also, I’m delightful,” Gwen added to lighten the mood, uncomfortable with how quiet and contemplative Merlin had gotten.

Merlin huffed. “That you are. Here, look, we’re back.”

Gwen grimaced, taking out the stone again. She was getting tired of experiencing its extreme temperatures, but it wasn’t like it did any real damage, so she figured she’d just grit her teeth and get it over with. There were worse things. That she knew from personal experience.

However, it turned out she didn’t need the stone this time. Merlin simply lifted his hand and the layer cloaking the clearing seemed to vanish in the space in front of him. He bowed slightly and smiled.

“After you.”

Gwen walked through and was pleasantly surprised that the stone didn’t react at all. She’d have to get Merlin to do that for her more often if she really could somehow figure out a way for her to spend more time with Morgana.

As soon as she was through the wall, she caught sight of Elyan running towards her. He wrapped her in a hug and then pushed her away from him with his hands on her shoulders.

“Gwen! Where were you? Are you all right?”

Gwen smiled at him. “I was just helping out a friend of Merlin’s I met yesterday.”

Elyan glanced at Merlin, who had by now stepped through the opening himself and was proceeding to close it back up. When he was done, he paused until he noticed that Elyan was still looking at him. Merlin lifted his hands.

“All right, I’m leaving. See you later.”

Once Merlin was far enough away, Elyan turned back to Gwen.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Helping Merlin’s friend, I mean. Are you sure it’s… safe?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“This isn’t about magical people,” Elyan said, shaking his head. “This is about Merlin and whether or not he and his friends are trustworthy.”

“I thought everyone here was his friend?”

Elyan frowned. “Not friend, precisely. You haven’t seen what he’s capable of doing, Gwen. Even for a sorcerer, it’s…”

Gwen tapped his nose with her index finger, something she always used to do to distract Elyan from his thoughts when they were younger.

“Isn’t what counts not what he’s capable of doing but what he chooses to do?” Elyan hesitated and Gwen lightly poked him in the arm. “He’s here, he’s on your side, he’s helping you. He’s loyal to Arthur and to your cause. He wants to rid this land of Uther. Isn’t that enough?”

“But—”

“I’m not saying I trust him completely,” Gwen interrupted him. “But I am saying you need him. I really believe he doesn’t mean any of you any harm.”

Elyan didn’t seem convinced, but he dropped the topic nonetheless. They started walking towards the tents.

“You can stay in my tent,” Elyan said. “Unless you want to stay with Gwaine, he offered too.” When Gwen just levelled him with a flat look, he snorted. “Thought so.”

They kept walking until they reached a tent pretty far back in the rows. It was tiny; Gwen wondered how even Elyan alone could fit in there.

As if he could hear her thoughts, Elyan said, “It’s not much, but we’ll make do somehow.”

“I’ll probably be spending more time with Merlin’s friend anyway. They still need my help.” Gwen smiled. “So don’t worry, your privacy’s safe, big brother.”

After rummaging around in his tent, Elyan re-emerged with a sword belt tied around his waist.

“Merlin’s friend, eh? Who are they, anyway?”

Gwen considered her answer. Merlin obviously didn’t want anyone—especially Arthur—to know about Morgana, but Gwen couldn’t find it in herself to care. This was her brother, and she wasn’t going to lie to him for no good reason.

“A sorceress. One of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen,” Gwen answered truthfully.

Elyan huffed and nudged her with his elbow. “Stop messing with me. If you don’t want to say, you don’t have to. I might not trust Merlin, but you? You’re my sister, Gwen, and I’d do anything for you.”

At that, warmth settled in Gwen’s bones as naturally as liquid metal being poured into a cast, taking on its shape and making it seem like it was never intended to be anything else. Gwen nodded.

“Together, we’re going to save father.”

“What happened to him? Merlin interrupted us before we could really talk about it,” Elyan grumbled.

“After Uther announced that Arthur and his knights had died on a hunting trip, father was devastated,” Gwen said with a sigh. “He stopped talking, he barely ate… I could tell he was thinking of you all the time. Something else seemed to eat at him too, and he requested a private audience with Uther, which he was granted. He went off to speak to Uther and never returned.”

Elyan took Gwen’s hand in his and squeezed it. She appreciated his silent show of support, but she couldn’t quite quash the bitterness about the fact that back then, she had had to go through all of it alone. Elyan hadn’t been dead or captured or anything like that, he had chosen to leave of his own accord. To leave them behind.

“The next day, just when I’d decided to go to the castle myself and ask after father, someone came to our house. They told me that Uther was expecting me and I went to see him. Uther offered me a spot on his guard, to train me and have me join the fight against magical people. I turned him down, telling him I just wanted to know where father was so we could go home, but Uther… didn’t take that well. He had me dragged to the dungeons where he showed me the cell our father was in. He told me it was outrageous that I’d turned down his generous offer and that if I didn’t go out in his name, he would kill father right then and there.” Gwen swallowed. “So I complied. Or tried to, at least.”

“Gwen…” Elyan’s voice was a broken thing, and Gwen didn’t dare look him in the eyes. She shook her head.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore.” She paused, thinking of one last thing to add after all. “He still has father make weapons while imprisoned. I’m pretty sure he threatened father with my death like he threatened me with father’s. That’s Uther for you.”

“He will pay,” Elyan ground out. Gwen finally looked at him. Pain and anger and guilt warred on his face and a stone Gwen hadn’t known she’d been carrying fell off her back.

She put a gentle hand on his shoulder and said, an echo of her brother’s words from the day before, “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known. It’s Uther’s fault, always.”

“I left. I left you two alone. I chose to leave, to fight for Arthur, but I didn’t think about what it would do to you,” Elyan said, voice rough. Then, quieter, “I thought it would all be worth it when we came back and won.”

Even though Gwen had had similar thoughts only moments before, she found herself shaking her head. He had never been the one to blame for this.

“We will save him. We will win. We will make so many good memories that the bad will lose all their power over us.”

Almost reluctantly, Elyan nodded and sniffed once.

“We can’t wait forever to make our move, though, because any day our father is in that man’s dungeon is a day too long. You’ve been gone for months, how much longer do you think it’ll take?”

“It must be drawing closer.” Elyan shifted. “The knights are growing restless as well. There have been too many days like this one where there’s nothing to do but wait for word from potential allies. Arthur has gathered a lot of support and the time for us to make our move is fast approaching.”

Gwen nodded. “Good. Let’s hope it’s sooner rather than later.”

“It should be.” After a moment, Elyan held up his sword. “Want to spar?”

“Are you sure your ego can handle being defeated by your little sister?”

Elyan grinned, shrugging. “Guess we’ll have to find out.”

It turned out the knights did not, in fact, just sit around all day, gathering dust. To avoid getting rusty, they sparred daily, each taking turns facing the others. They all had different fighting styles and by rotating their sparring partners they avoided their moves becoming predictable.

Hefting her sword in her hand, Gwen willed her heartbeat to stay steady. It was one of her father’s swords, made especially for her, and that was what she clung to as she swung it a couple of times to test her grip.

The first of the knights to step forward was Gwaine, with another flick of his hair.

“Let’s do this, beautiful Gwen,” he said, a twinkle in his eyes.

Without consciously deciding to, she let her sword arm drop and shook her head. “I don’t want to fight today.” Or ever again, if she could have it her way. Elyan gave her a concerned look which she tried to smile away as she stepped back.

It wasn’t about the fact that she was out of practice—the short, embarrassing encounter with Morgana did not count, since she’d been disarmed in the blink of an eye—but rather that she was tired down to her bones, and sore, and she simply didn’t want to fight a second more in her life than she had to anymore.

Gwaine opened his mouth, only to be cut off by a pebble hitting him on the back of the head. He rubbed it, scowling, and turned around to glare at Percival.

“Don’t pretend you weren’t going to say it,” Percival said, and Gwaine deflated with a sloppy grin and a shrug.

Instead of her, Gwaine ended up fighting Leon. He wasn’t bad. He was quick to react, parrying here, twisting there. But, looking around at the training knights, Gwen quickly recognised what might very well be their downfall.

Uther didn’t train his people to enjoy the fight, to take their time, to play fair. He trained them to win as quickly as possible by any means necessary because losing meant certain death. After she’d rejected becoming one of his people, he’d sent her out immediately without any training, but Gwen had seen enough of it in passing that she knew the way Arthur’s knights fought might not cut it. During a lull in their fighting, she spoke up.

“You can’t win like this.”

“Harsh,” a knight said, undoing her braid after it became clear the fighting was over.

“Why?” Percival asked Gwen. Her skin prickled uncomfortably at the feeling of everyone’s eyes on her.

“You fight too fair,” she said. Many huffed, but she went on before they could say anything. “You enjoy swordplay too much. To Uther’s people, the goal isn’t to have a good fight, the goal is to win, no matter what. He makes sure of that.  If you want to win against them, you need to be ruthless.”

“We won’t fight like them,” Leon said, with obvious disdain. Gwen gave him an unimpressed look.

“Then you very well might lose. They won’t pause to let you catch your breath or better your stance, they will take any opportunity to incapacitate or maybe even kill you. That is what they are trained to do. There’s no room for your misplaced courtesy.”

When a murmur started up, Gwen lifted a hand to quiet them.

“Forget about what you think a swordfight should be like. As soon as you see an opportunity, you have to take it, because they will. You cannot hesitate.”

“We’re not going to kill more people than necessary,” Leon said.

Gwen nodded. “Good. A lot of Uther’s people will drop their weapons. Leave them alone. Only a very small number of people is actually loyal to Uther because of choice, and none of them to the death, so we can use that. Some will hesitate and be unsure what to do. Try to disarm them or otherwise incapacitate them, but, again, don’t hesitate, because Uther makes sure his people fear keeping their life and losing more than they care about their conscience.”

“Are we supposed to just listen to you?” a young knight asked, but she didn’t sound impolite, just unsure as she looked to Leon for guidance.

Leon grunted. “All right. We’ll try to take that into account. In the heat of battle, instincts tend to take over, but knights, we have to try and keep our heads about us.” He paused and then looked at Gwen. “However, our goal isn’t to win in any way possible. Our goal is to win the right way. A kingdom begun the same way the old one ended cannot be a fresh start.”

Gwen nodded. Their fairness and mercy—in short, their efforts to actually embody chivalry—were qualities that would hopefully make most of Uther’s people give ground and concede defeat fairly quickly. It had to be enough.

“Gwen?”

Elyan’s voice tore Gwen out of her thoughts. She shook her head and blinked a few times to get everything back into focus. Most knights were heading off in small groups, leaving only her, Elyan, and one last gaggle of knights having an animated discussion.

“Sorry,” Gwen said. “Did you say something?”

“Some of us are going hunting, do you want to come along?”

The thought of creeping through the forest in search of an unsuspecting animal to kill and later cook was not at all appealing to Gwen. She smiled at Elyan and replied, “It’s fine, go without me. I’ll find something else to do about camp.”

“You sure?”

When she nodded, Elyan squeezed her shoulder once before letting go and jogging off, presumably to join the others. She watched Elyan leave and was almost bowled over by the strength of her wish for her father to be by their side as well, safe and sound.

 _Soon_ , she told herself. Running a hand over her face, she grimaced and then decided to wash herself as well as she could in the stream.

Upon reaching it, she paused and decided to have a drink first. After the first gulp of water, she found she couldn’t stop. When had she last had some? She couldn’t even remember, but until this moment, she hadn’t been aware how thirsty she was.

Then, she washed herself, and, finally feeling clean again, went off in search of Merlin. She’d decided she’d probably be more useful if she spent time with Morgana than if she just stood around in the glade, not doing anything but trying to keep her thoughts from veering off in uncomfortable directions.

The camp seemed mostly deserted, with only the odd knight here and there washing clothes or polishing weapons; the others seemed to have left the glade for the day. Gwen frowned, unsure if she’d be able to find her way back to Morgana’s clearing on her own if Merlin wasn’t around to take her there. She cursed herself for not paying closer attention to the path through the woods they’d taken that morning.

Immediately after thinking that, she spotted two figures leaning on adjacent gnarled trees. Gwen stopped and blinked.

Arthur and Merlin were each tilted towards the other, talking quietly. They seemed relaxed and at peace in a way she didn’t think she’d seen them in the entire time she’d known them.

She hesitated, unsure if she should interrupt them or just leave them be, when Arthur looked up and his eyes met hers. His posture changed immediately as he stood up straighter, pushing his shoulders back.

“Gwen,” he said.

Merlin turned towards her leisurely. “Guinevere. To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Take me to her,” was all Gwen said. Merlin obviously still didn’t want Arthur to know about Morgana and she would respect that, but she wasn’t going to beat around the bush either.

Arthur’s eyebrows shot up. “Her who?”

Gwen looked at Merlin, a challenge in her eyes. It was enough to make Merlin straighten up as well, though he tried to disguise it by brushing off his pants.

“I’ll tell you later,” he told Arthur over his shoulder, walking towards Gwen.

“Will you?” Arthur called after him. “Telling me about things isn’t exactly one of your specialities.”

Merlin ignored him, setting off towards the border of the glade. Gwen followed, glad she wouldn’t have to use the stone this time either. With a wave of his hand, a hole formed in the purple wall.

“Try to remember the way this time, all right?” he said to Gwen without looking at her. “If you insist on doing this, it’s best if you can find your own way from now on.”

Gwen glared at the back of his head. “I’m sorry I offended you by not remembering the way after only walking it twice, once tired and in the dark, and once tired and distracted talking to you.”

Merlin let out an amused-sounding huff but didn’t say anything.

“The time for action is drawing near,” Gwen started carefully. “Whatever it is that you think Arthur’s problem with Morgana is going to be, he needs to get over it quickly because there isn’t a lot of time left before we all have to work together.”

When no answer came, Gwen chose to interpret that as agreement.

“You should tell him soon, Merlin. If it will be hard for him to deal with, he should have enough time to do so before the battle.”

“You know, Gwen,” Merlin said, his voice so cheerful it could only be fake, “I’m discovering I don’t like it very much when you’re right.”

A laugh escaped her at that. “Most of the time, I am.”

“Yes, I’m beginning to realise that.”

Gwen quickened her step until she was walking by his side and then proceeded to hip check him. Merlin stopped walking completely and blinked at her. With a grin, Gwen shrugged.

“You need someone to tell it like it is. The others are either too scared, suspicious or trusting of you to say anything, but that doesn’t mean you’re always doing things right. Also, as of right now, I’m the only other person who knows about Morgana."

Merlin sighed. “I’ll talk to Arthur soon.”

“Good.”

“You know,” Merlin said, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, “you can be very persistent. I’d forgotten about that.”

“And persuasive.”

Merlin grunted. “That too.”

A comfortable silence settled over them as they kept walking and Gwen tried to memorise their path.

“Do you think Arthur can really do it?” she asked eventually. “Attack his father’s castle, usurp the throne.”

“It’s not usurping. It is and always has been his right to be king.”

“Yes, when Uther’s dead or incapacitated by anyone’s hand but his son’s.”

“He’ll do it. I know he will,” Merlin said, sounding so convinced that Gwen felt her doubts slip away.

“All right.”

“If not, I’ll do it for him.”

When she looked over at Merlin, she wasn’t surprised by the coldness in his eyes. He really would kill Uther, no matter if Arthur changed his mind about it and would end up never forgiving him.

Gwen nodded. “As long as Uther is alive, this kingdom cannot heal.”

Death had always been something abstract to her. It happened everywhere, all the time, she’d even witnessed it with her own eyes, but… it had never truly felt real. It was something that happened to other people. Of course she knew that it could happen at any time to anyone, but she’d never had a hand in or been in any way responsible for anyone’s death.

She hoped that if it came down to it, she would have it in her to change that in Uther’s case.

Realising that Merlin was no longer beside her, Gwen frowned and turned around. He was standing a couple of steps back, staring at her, eyes wide and mouth ajar.

“What?” Gwen asked, feeling slightly self-conscious.

Merlin shook his head and then smiled a smile that felt realer than all of his previous smiles combined.

“I’m glad you’re here, Gwen.”

Affection warmed up her insides in a comfortable way that made her want to hold onto it even if she got burned in the process. Gwen swallowed.

“Me too.”

After walking for a while in silence, she caught sight of a particular tree and froze.

Merlin turned to her. “What is it?”

“I know that tree. I think I know the way now. We’re almost there, aren’t we?”

“Well done indeed. I think you no longer need to be escorted from here to there and there to here, though it was an irrefutable honour.”

Gwen rolled her eyes when Merlin bowed exaggeratedly.

“If I get lost in the woods on the way back, I demand that you come find me.”

“I have trust in you,” Merlin said. “But I will. You’re one of ours now, Gwen, officially part of the group and everything. We stick together and look out for each other. Prepare to be knighted eventually.”

Gwen paused. “Doesn’t it bother you? That some of them don’t trust you, I mean.”

“Oh, it does,” Merlin said, his expression hardening. “I’m not sure that’s something that can be helped, though.”

“It is,” Gwen said, and, on an impulse, placed a hand on Merlin’s shoulder like she’d do with Elyan. “They’ll get over it, you’ll see. At the latest when you all fight together. If being on the same side of a battle and surviving doesn’t unite people, I don’t know what will.”

Merlin gently placed a hand over Gwen’s and smiled down at her. “Maybe you’re right.” Gwen raised her eyebrows at him, which caused him to laugh. “All right, fine, you’re definitely right. Now go to Morgana.”

He made a shooing motion with his hands and it was Gwen’s turn to laugh.

“Fine, you’re off the hook for now. Just know that as long as they find you intimidating, the knights aren’t going to come talk to you. But talking and sharing experiences and sparring are how they bond, so you’re going to have to make the first move if you want things to change.”

Merlin hummed, turned around, and then started walking off without further ado. “See you later!” he called over his shoulder.

Gwen watched him leave for a while, trying to make sure she remembered the way back, then turned towards Morgana’s small clearing.

Upon entering it, Morgana was nowhere in sight, but there were sounds coming from the cave. She hesitated, unsure if she was welcome to enter the cave without announcing herself, and before Gwen could make a decision, Morgana stuck her head out of the entrance. When she saw Gwen, her entire face lit up.

“You’re back so soon.”

“I’m persuasive,” Gwen told her as she had told Merlin.

Morgana smiled. “Do I need to be on guard?”

Pursing her lips, Gwen pretended to consider it. “Maybe. But I think you’re safe for now.”

Morgana motioned with her hand for Gwen to come closer, and Gwen watched the still-present smile on her face with slightly narrowed eyes.

“What put you in such a good mood?”

At that, Morgana’s smile dropped slightly. “I’m trying to use magic in some new ways and it is going very well. Come in, there is some food left if you want.”

Gwen felt like she’d done something wrong; she just wasn’t sure what. Uneasiness squirmed in her stomach, but she forced herself to walk into the cave past Morgana like nothing was wrong.

The cave was less spacious than Gwen had assumed. In the centre, there was a fire pit with a cauldron hanging above it, and when she looked up at the ceiling, she saw a hole to vent the smoke. How the hole had gotten there or how the cave wasn’t flooded when it rained, Gwen didn’t know, but she figured it’d have something to do with magic and left it at that.

At the far end of the cave, there was an assortment of blankets piled haphazardly on top of each other, with one or two pillows thrown in. Gwen assumed that was where Morgana slept.

Aside from that, there wasn’t much else, and yet the cave didn’t seem bleak. The colourful blankets aside, the walls of the cave seemed to be imbued with tiny, glowing stones that shifted their colour every now and again, casting alternately warm or cool light over everything.

There were also some scrolls and parchment in one corner of the cave, and candles in various shapes and sizes were strewn all over the floor, along with petals from different types of flowers which looked as fresh as if they they’d only just been plucked.

“It’s not much,” Morgana’s voice said behind her.

Gwen didn’t quite succeed at hiding her flinch. She’d been so enraptured in studying the cave that she’d forgotten she wasn’t alone.

“It’s the nicest cave I’ve ever seen,” Gwen said honestly. Not that she’d ever seen any other caves, but even if she had… “And it’s the nicest one I can imagine.”

She turned around to look at Morgana, who was watching her with an inscrutable expression.

“Do you control the stones?” Gwen asked, pointing at the walls.

Morgana hesitated. “I’m not sure if ‘control’ is the right word. It is more of a give-and-take.”

Gwen stared at her. “What could stones possibly want from humans?”

“Magic,” Morgana said, smile back on her lips.

“Oh,” Gwen said, pausing. “I guess that makes sense.”

Looking at Morgana’s smile, Gwen had the strange feeling that she’d missed it, even though it hadn’t been long since she’d last seen it. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of that.

“Please, help yourself to some food,” Morgana said, sweeping her hand in the direction of the cauldron. “It’s just some vegetable broth, but it is very filling.”

Gwen acquiesced. She wasn’t sure when she’d last eaten, but it had probably been too long.

After wolfing the broth down so quickly she burned her tongue, she set aside her bowl and sighed contentedly. It hasn’t been the most delicious thing she’d ever eaten, but it had certainly tasted better than she’d expected. She closed her eyes for a second, basking in the feeling of safety and fullness, before she remembered her talk with Merlin earlier and she cracked her eyes back open.

“By the way, I talked to Merlin earlier and I think I convinced him to let you meet Arthur in person soon. It’s really time.”

Morgana froze, her mouth hanging open slightly. Gwen waited her out.

“What?” Morgana finally managed. She looked so shocked that Gwen started to feel unsure about getting involved.

“I… thought that’s what you wanted. And I thought it would be best if it happened with more time until the battle, so if Arthur really doesn’t handle it well he’ll have time to deal.”

Morgana stared at her. “You know?”

“Know what?” Gwen asked with a frown.

“You don’t know,” Morgana said, exhaling heavily.

“I would if you told me,” Gwen tried.

After studying her for a moment, Morgana sighed.

“The reason Merlin thinks Arthur will not handle meeting me well is that it entails him finding out I’m his sister.”

Gwen blinked. “You’re Merlin’s sister? Why should Arthur have a problem with that?”

“No,” Morgana said. “I’m Arthur’s.”

Once the words had sunken in, Gwen’s mouth fell open. “You’re Arthur’s sister?”

With a slightly amused expression on her face, Morgana nodded. “I am.”

“But… how?” Gwen had never heard of another royal child. There hadn’t even been rumours.

“By way of Uther sleeping with my mother.”

Gwen automatically grimaced, the mention of Uther in any—but especially that—kind of context making her insides shrivel up. Morgana grimaced back.

“I know,” she said. “I am not exactly happy about it. For most of my life, I didn’t even know. I only found out when Merlin came to see me after my sister’s death.”

“Was your sister…?”

Morgana snorted, shaking her head. “Oh, no. She would not have taken being his daughter well, I think. She had a different father, as Arthur had a different mother.”

“But… what does that mean? Are you a princess?” Gwen frowned again. “And how did Merlin know about it?”

“I am no princess.” Morgana’s expression was cold. “He has no claim to me whatsoever. It’s not the best portent for our relationship that I am related to Arthur because of such a vile man, but I will not let it taint it. And Merlin knew because his friend Gaius knew. When he wanted to get me to join Arthur’s supporters, he tried to convince me with it. He told me Morgause knew, but she never held it against me and she wouldn’t let him tell me.”

“Morgause?”

“My sister.”

“Why would she hold it against you? You’ve never even met him.”

Morgana smiled lopsidedly. “Maybe she never told me because she did not want me to hold it against myself.”

“Morgana…” Gwen shifted. “None of this is your fault.”

“I know.”

“Can I ask… I mean, how did Morgause die?”

Morgana stilled, then looked away. “One of Uther’s people.”

Everything in Gwen went cold. “Is that why you froze when I first attacked you? Did it remind you of her?”

“Yes.” Morgana paused. “Among other things.”

Gwen tilted her head in question. “What do you mean?”

It seemed like a flush was creeping up Morgana’s neck, but maybe it was only the light of the colour-changing stones that created that illusion. Gwen squinted.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

Letting out a small laugh, Morgana nodded. “It’s just… You must know that you are pretty.”

Gwen blinked.

“I had not met anyone new in a long time, living alone in the woods and so on, so I had forgotten what it was like to think someone… attractive.”

Gwen stared at her. Being pretty was not something she had ever given much thought to because it simply hadn’t mattered. She liked her face well enough, as had her previous lovers, yet she hadn’t thought hers was the type of beauty to stop someone in their tracks the first time they laid eyes on her.

“But you’re beautiful,” she heard herself say, before her brain had quite caught up.

Morgana lifted an eyebrow. “And beautiful people are never attracted to anyone?”

Gwen’s cheeks heated up. “I—”

“You are beautiful as well, you know. Very much so. Or do you not trust the infamous Gwaine Code?”

A moment’s pause, then Gwen burst out laughing, unable to hold it in. After a while, a breath escaped Morgana, and another, until she too was laughing out loud. Gwen stilled, holding her breath so she didn’t miss a single second. Morgana’s laugh felt rare and precious and Gwen wanted to lock the memory of it up somewhere safe so she’d never lose it.

Eventually, Morgana’s laughter petered out, leaving her gasping for breath. Only then did she seem to realise that Gwen was watching her, because she moved strands of her hair in front of her face so they would cover her reddening cheeks.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’ve never seen you laugh before. I like it.”

Morgana turned her head down and away so that her hair fell to cover it further.

“I don’t remember the last time I laughed,” Morgana admitted. “Really, truly laughed.”

Pride swelled up warm and strong inside Gwen. She had played a part in helping Morgana find her laugh again. The Gwaine Code was good for that, at least, if nothing else.

Gwen lay back, her hands crossed behind her head. “Well, you better get used to it now that I’m here.”

“I suppose,” Morgana said, and it sounded so warm and affectionate that a jolt ran down Gwen’s spine. “You certainly get people to thaw quickly around you.”

“Oh, that’s just you,” Gwen said. Morgana was silent and when Gwen looked over, she saw that Morgana had lain back as well.

Staring up at the colourful shadows cast on the ceiling by the glowing gems, Gwen smiled and let herself bask in the perfect contentment of that moment.

 

* * *

 

Her days started to follow a similar pattern: Gwen would sleep in or in front of Morgana’s cave, go to camp to watch the knights spar or even participate sometimes, spend some time with Elyan, and then, when they all went off to do their own thing, she’d return to Morgana where she’d spend the rest of the day.

Morgana and she never did much. They mostly talked about anything and everything until Morgana’s stiff posture relaxed—Gwen wasn’t sure, but she had a sneaking suspicion that Morgana hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since long before Gwen had arrived—and Gwen counted it as a victory if she could get Morgana to laugh at least once.

Sometimes Morgana wasn’t around. She was guarded when Gwen asked why, until one day she told her that she went to meet with druids who were potential allies to their cause. They didn’t yet trust Arthur and they didn’t quite know what to make of Merlin, but they welcomed Morgana as one of their own since she had grown up living among them.

When her father entered her mind, Gwen pushed the thought away. She had to believe that Uther wouldn’t do anything to him since he was the best blacksmith in the kingdom. And even if he did, there was simply nothing she could do on her own except land in the dungeon cell next to his.

One day, Arthur received a message that had him storming out of his tent with an elated expression on his face.

“Knights, we’re moving out tomorrow! Queen Mithian has finally confirmed her support.”

A cheer rang out throughout the glade. Gwen wrapped Elyan in a hug, which he returned so enthusiastically that he lifted her off the ground.

“We’re going to save father,” Elyan said, radiating pure joy. “And we’re going to change the fate of the whole kingdom.”

Gwen nodded and planted a kiss on his cheek. “For the better.”

When Elyan put her down, her gaze landed on Merlin, who, as it turned out, was already looking at her.

She nodded at him, knowing it would convey her message. _It’s time to introduce Arthur to Morgana._ Merlin grimaced but was soon wrapped in a hug by Gwaine, taking him out of Gwen’s line of sight.

For all that Merlin seemed to believe in Arthur, he did not trust him to handle this well at all. Gwen shook her head. Either he underestimated him or was over-protective of him or both. In the end, it didn’t matter; it was time and Merlin knew it as well as she did.

While the knights celebrated all around her, Gwen found herself unable to believe that this was it, that they were really going to move out now. The fight was drawing near, and with it, an end, one way or another.

She would never get to lie in that clearing next to Morgana again, nothing on their minds but the stars.

Startled, Gwen blinked, then frowned. She had no idea where that thought had come from and didn’t let herself dwell on it, going through the path to her father’s cell once they’d breached the castle instead.

The awareness that she was holding something in her hand dawned on her, and when she looked down and uncurled her fingers, she found the purple stone that she must have, at some point, unwittingly grabbed out of her pocket. She definitely wouldn’t miss the way it burned with heat and cold in her hand when she entered and left the glade, and yet there was a tinge of something resembling sadness anyway as she looked down at it.

With a start, she realised that she had felt safe here, in the glade with Elyan and the other knights and Arthur and Merlin, and with Morgana in her cave and under the night sky. When had she last truly felt safe before that? And now they were setting off into uncertainty, and a part of Gwen wanted to cling to this safety and comfort and routine and never let go.

She might have actually been happy.

The inevitable thought of her father sent icy spikes of guilt through her chest; she quickly shook them off, knowing the truth. She would never not go back for her father and never again not fight for what and who she believed in, for the people she cared about and even those she didn’t. That conviction was deeply, unshakeably rooted within her, and though the roots were still young, they clung to the ground so steadfastly that they would never be ripped out again as long as Gwen had anything to say about it.

 

* * *

 

Their departure went more smoothly than Gwen would have thought possible with so many people involved. The knights were attuned to each other and seemed used to working together like the cogs of a miller’s wheel moving with the water. Gwen saw Elyan among them and felt the corners of her mouth curve up in a proud smile.

“Gwen.”

Turning around, Gwen found herself face-to-face with Arthur. His brow was creased, all the joy from the day before seemingly long gone.

“Arthur.”

“Can I speak with you for a moment?”

Gwen hesitated, then nodded, following Arthur to a more secluded spot. It took a long time for Arthur to start speaking and Gwen tried not to let her impatience show on her face.

“Merlin—” Arthur broke off, clearing his throat. “Last night, he told me I… have a sister.”

Apparently Merlin didn’t hold his horses once he’d decided to do something. Gwen couldn’t help but feel surprised after he’d put it off for so long.

“Yes.”

Arthur paused. “You’re not surprised. You knew?”

“Yes. She told me.”

“Merlin said that you’ve been spending a lot of time with her. I wanted to ask you… Could you tell me about her?”

Gwen’s eyebrows rose. “You can’t ask Merlin? Are you angry with him?”

Arthur sighed. “Yes. No. I don’t know. The fact that he did not trust me enough to tell me…” He rubbed at his forehead. “I guess it’s warranted.”

“You had a right to know.”

“Maybe she didn’t want to see me. I cannot say anything against that.”

Shaking her head, Gwen said, “Morgana wants to see you. This is all just as confusing to her, but you two not meeting is on Merlin.”

Arthur stilled. “Morgana? _The_ Morgana?”

Leave it to Merlin to leave out the essentials for Gwen to deal with later.

“Look, forget everything you’ve heard and just meet her as if she were a blank piece of parchment, without having filled it up with lines based on assumptions. Make up your own mind about her. All I can tell you is that, in my opinion, you’re lucky to be related to her.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Arthur nodded, expression determined. “I will talk to her after we’ve made camp tonight.”

Arthur gave her a quick smile and then walked off to the front of their group to join Leon and probably talk about strategy. He’d barely been gone for the blink of an eye when a decidedly sheepish-looking Merlin showed up next to her.

“I’m sorry,” he said, before Gwen could even accuse him of anything. “I’m not… good at this kind of thing.”

“Honesty? Emotions?” Gwen asked and nudged him in the side with her elbow to show him she didn’t really mind.

“Yes. I didn’t want—” He cut himself off, then continued after taking a deep breath, “I didn’t want to see his face when he realised she’s a sorceress. He’s made a lot of progress, don’t get me wrong, but he grew up with Uther, and so far, I’m the only magical person he’s aware of knowing. I think… part of me is afraid he might just see me as some sort of exception.”

Gwen hummed in understanding. “If it makes you feel any better, he seemed more shocked that it’s the famous Morgana than that she’s magical. And I think I convinced him to lay his preconceptions aside and just meet her and see for himself.”

Merlin stared at her in silence for a moment, then a laugh escaped him. “Guinevere, you are a treasure.”

Gwen tilted her head and smiled. “I quite like the sound of that.”

“Worth more than all the riches in the land,” Merlin proclaimed with a bow, after which he sauntered off to join Gwaine and the others.

Gwen let herself fall back more and more, eventually bringing up the rear. Keeping the group within her sight at all times, she lingered out of earshot, and when Elyan looked at her and gestured between the two of them, asking whether he should come join her, she shook her head in response. He nodded and went back to joking around and laughing with his fellow knights. His friends.

Elyan had always been more of a solitary child, closing himself off and refusing to let other people in after his mother’s death. Gwen’s mother had died during her birth, so her mourning had always been abstract, the mourning of a concept, an idea, rather than an actual person. Elyan, however, had been close to his mother before her death, and hadn’t known how to deal with her loss and the subsequent fear of losing others who were important to him.

Some days, he blamed their father, even though there was nothing anyone could have done to save her. He’d always loved Gwen, though, unconditionally. When she’d been small, he had been over-protective of her, and Gwen had looked up to him so much that in her eyes he could do no wrong. For the longest time, he wouldn’t even consider letting anyone but her in. Then Arthur had come to play at their father’s forge and somehow, he had gotten Elyan to open up. Gwen still wasn’t sure how he’d done it.

And now, so many years later, he’d opened his heart to more people than he could have probably ever imagined. He wasn’t alone anymore. He was actually happy. That meant the world to Gwen.

Blinking tears from her eyes and clearing her throat, she looked around for the reason she was hanging back so far.

“Morgana,” Gwen said quietly.

“You called?”

Gwen jumped, then jumped a couple more times as if trying to re-energise herself to disguise her first surprised jump. She looked around, frowning. Morgana was nowhere in sight.

“Are you… invisible?”

“I would think that’s rather obvious.”

“Actually, it isn’t. Isn’t that the whole point?”

Morgana was quiet for a moment. Then she mumbled, “Yes, you’re right.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I am not repeating myself.”

Gwen smiled and tilted her head back to look up at the treetops and the light filtering through. “Good thing I heard you the first time, then.”

“I thought it would be best if no one else saw me yet.”

“Merlin told Arthur about you yesterday. Well, he told him he has a sister and I told him about you today. He wants to talk to you when we’ve set up camp later tonight.”

“How…” Gwen had never heard so much hesitance in Morgana’s voice before, “did he react?”

Gwen considered that. “Rather well, I’d say. He asked me if you were _the_ Morgana, and I told him to forget everything he’s heard and make his mind up for himself. I think he’ll listen to me.”

“He should. You tend to be right about things, as I’ve discovered.”

A grin spread across Gwen’s face. “I do.”

When the silence dragged on for too long, Gwen’s grin dropped and she looked at the spot Morgana’s voice had been coming from.

“Are you still there?”

There was a sharp intake of breath and a clearing of the throat. “Yes. I was just… distracted.”

“I figured you’d be close by today. After tonight, you’ll be an official part of the group, no more isolation, no more hiding.”

“Yes.” It sounded almost wistful, and something in Gwen twisted painfully in response.

“Are you nervous about talking to Arthur?”

Morgana hesitated. “I’m not sure. I don’t know if we will ever be able to be close after so long without knowing each other. And whether he likes me or not, whether I like him or not, only time will tell.” In a quiet voice, she added, “It will never be what it was with Morgause.”

“Of course not, Arthur’s a different person. No two relationships are ever the same, and no one can ever replace someone else, no matter how many similarities you might try to find,” Gwen said. “You and Arthur will be nothing like you and Morgause, simply because Arthur isn’t her. But that doesn’t mean you and Arthur can’t work well in your own ways.”

“He is my brother, in blood. In feeling, he is a stranger. I don’t know if that will ever change.”

Gwen stretched her arms over her head with a sigh. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, and figure out what it is you want from the relationship, if anything, and try to work towards that.”

After a short pause, Morgana said, “You are wiser than the druids, Guinevere.”

That startled a laugh out of her. “Did you conspire with Merlin to shower me in praise today? I’m not complaining, but first he calls me a treasure, now this.”

Gwen could hear the smile in Morganas voice when she said, “That you are.”

They walked in silence for a while. Eventually, Gwen decided to bring up what had been on her mind since they set off.

“The battle is drawing near.”

“Indeed,” Morgana agreed. “Not long now.”

“Did you mean it? What you said when we first met?”

“If you’re asking whether I still intend to keep my promise, the answer is yes.”

 _If I promise to protect your loved ones, will you help me take down Uther?_ It seemed like eons had passed since that moment.

“So you’ll help me save my father? Even if others might need you more?”

Gwen wasn’t going to waste any time and let Uther remember he could use her father against her. She was going straight for him as soon as she had the opportunity. That would probably mean leaving most of the fight to the others, but her father had to be her priority if she wanted to have any hope of getting him out unharmed.

“Yes.”

Morgana sounded so sure that Gwen abruptly came to a stop before she shook off her surprise and started walking again.

“Are you sure? Arthur and the others—”

“My promise to you came first, and I will honour it. Besides, I would only be distracted by worrying about you if I let you go on your own.”

Gwen spluttered, her cheeks and heart warm, the notion of someone caring enough about her well-being to worry in the middle of a battle spreading a comfortable heat through her chest. “I’ll have you know that I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“I know. But something unexpected can always happen, and it will make things easier for you if I watch over you as well.”

It was hard to argue with that, and Gwen found she didn’t even want to, anyway. Elyan was likely to continue fighting with the knights, as they were as much his family now as Gwen or their father and saving the kingdom was the most important. Save the kingdom, save his family, that was the way he saw it. Gwen was proud of him for that, and glad he wasn’t more familiar with Uther’s cruelty, but she was also relieved she wouldn’t have to rescue their father on her own.

“Thank you.” Gwen didn’t think she’d ever said those two words more earnestly. She’d meant them, of course, but this time she also felt them reverberate in every bone.

“There’s nothing to thank,” Morgana replied, and she sounded like she meant it, too. “Gwen, surely you know… that you are important to me.”

Gwen blinked a few times, trying to process that. She had, in fact, not known. She hadn’t strictly not not known, either, she’d simply never given it any thought. What she meant to Morgana. What Morgana meant to her.

But in truth, she’d considered Morgana her friend for a while now. Friends were something she hadn’t had enough of for the longest time, and she would fight for each and every one of hers.

She smiled at where she thought Morgana must be walking. “You’re important to me too.”

Gwen heard a sigh, and then a hand brushed hers, making her whole body tense for a moment as sparks shot through her, spreading out from the point of contact. Her heart beat faster and her mouth went dry and Gwen thought, _Oh_.

 

* * *

 

When they finally stopped to make camp at dusk, Gwen let out a relieved breath. She’d been fighting to urge to hold Morgana’s hand ever since their hands had brushed, to the point where it had started sapping most of her energy.

Feelings. Romantic feelings. The very last thing on her list of priorities, and yet here they were. Gwen didn’t know whether to be in denial or laugh or cry or scream. Perhaps doing all four at once would be an accurate depiction of her state of mind and would also provide her with some relief from the maelstrom of her thoughts and emotions.

She shook her head. There would be time for that later, after the battle—if they survived. She could figure out what exactly she was feeling and how Morgana felt about her then. The most important thing now was that as many of them as possible survived and Gwen walked out of Camelot’s dungeons with her and Elyan’s father by her side. The three of them would finally reunite.

Whispers among the knights tore Gwen from her thoughts. She looked up and froze when she saw Morgana standing right there in their camp, clearly visible and surrounded by knights while Merlin explained who she was and why she was there.

Morgana’s eyes found hers and she gave her an uncharacteristically wobbly smile before finally being escorted into Arthur’s tent. Gwen was surprised when Merlin didn’t follow but walked over to her instead.

“You’re leaving them alone?” she asked him.

“It’s for the best. They have enough preconceptions about each other without how they both act around me also being thrown into the mix. They need to do this alone, just the two of them, and figure out where they stand.”

“The knights aren’t sure how to take it, I see.”

The murmurs of Morgana’s name and the confused frowns on many of their faces were hard to miss.

Merlin shrugged. “That was to be expected. I’m surprised Leon didn’t insist on his presence in the tent, to be honest. I’m taking it as a good sign that he’d leave Arthur alone with Morgana based on nothing but my word.”

Gwen hesitated. “Merlin.”

When she didn’t continue, Merlin glanced over at her, his expression inviting her to continue.

“During the battle, if it’s in any way possible… I know your priority is probably Arthur, and whatever other reasons you have for storming Camelot, but…” Gwen took a deep breath. “Elyan. Could you watch him? Just a little bit, when he’s close to you, maybe out of the corner of your eye, or—”

Merlin quieted her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Gwen. I will do everything I can to ensure Elyan’s survival. I promise you.”

Gwen felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, her body shivering as it adjusted to being free of it. She took Merlin’s hand in both of hers.

“Thank you. I know there can never be any guarantees in battle, and please never tell Elyan I asked this of you, he would be beyond offended, but… Thank you, Merlin. I really hope we all see the other side of this.”

Merlin smiled. “So do I, Gwen. So do I.”

 

* * *

 

It felt like Morgana was in that tent with Arthur for hours, and when she finally emerged, she immediately caught Gwen’s eyes. Merlin slipped into the tent behind her, maybe hoping Arthur would have forgiven him by now.

Morgana walked towards Gwen, and as she drew closer, Gwen could see how tired she was.

“Walk with me?” she asked Gwen.

“I think you should lie down.”

Morgana sighed. “You’re right. Lie down with me?” She paused, blinked, and then a flush spread over her cheeks. “I meant—”

“I know,” Gwen said quickly, trying not to give her thoughts time to go down that road. “I understand needing some company.”

After studying her quietly for some time, Morgana shook her head. “Sometimes I cannot believe that you’re real.”

Gwen frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You are so wonderful it’s hard to fathom how one person could contain it all,” Morgana said, smiling at her in a soft kind of way that made something interesting and altogether distracting happen in Gwen’s stomach.

Clearing her throat, Gwen deflected with, “You’re possibly the most powerful sorceress in the land. If the amounts of magic you’re capable of wielding aren’t unfathomable, then I don’t know what is, and being wonderful is just another one of your qualities. The title of being unfathomably wonderful should go to you.”

Morgana opened her mouth, then closed it again, surprise clearly visible on her face. “I don’t think anyone’s ever called me wonderful before.”

Gwen hesitated, biting down on her lip, and then decided to just ask. “Not even your sister?”

“I…” Morgana paused, then sighed. “It was more about the magic, the power, with her. She loved me very much, I know that. But I don’t know if, when she looked at me, it was actually me she saw.”

At a loss for words, Gwen’s only response was a hum.

With another sigh, Morgana twirled a strand of her hair around her index finger. “I should probably really try to catch some sleep.”

“You’re not staying here?”

“No,” Morgana said with a smile. “I don’t think the knights are quite ready for that yet.”

Looking over at the fire, Gwen caught Elyan unsuccessfully pretending not to pay attention to them and others watching Morgana more openly. Gwen grimaced.

“All right, I see your point,” she said. “Lead the way.” When Morgana just looked at her, Gwen huffed. “I thought we’d already established that I’m coming with you.”

“Gwen!” a familiar voice called, and before she could place it, she was wrapped in a hug. Once she was released, she looked up at the person and drew in a sharp breath.

“Lancelot?”

She didn’t know how, but he looked exactly the same as when she’d last seen him what felt like a lifetime ago. Only his hair was a bit longer, and he shook it out of his face with a grin.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” Gwen said. “How long has it been?”

Lancelot shook his head. “Too long. Merlin sent me word of the happenings in Camelot and I came as soon as I could.”

Unsure how to act around him, Gwen lightly punched him in the shoulder and laughed awkwardly. “Are you still as restless as ever? Or did you find somewhere to settle down?”

“I have a child now,” Lancelot said, a radiant warmth in his tone and expression. Gwen blinked in surprise. “Sometimes I still leave, but never for long.”

The corners of Gwen’s mouth tugged upwards. “I’m glad.”

Someone called Lancelot’s name and he turned away from Gwen. “Let’s talk more later. Percival’s calling.”

And then he was off. Gwen’s gaze rested on his back and she found that she felt complete closure with regards to the two of them. They had never been meant to be something permanent as lovers; their foundation as friends was much sturdier anyway.

She turned towards Morgana with an open mouth, words on the tip of her tongue, but closed it again when she realised she was no longer there. Seeing Elyan beckoning her towards him and the others, she shook her head at him and pointed at the forest behind her. He didn’t frown, yet from what she could see of him from a distance, he didn’t seem pleased about it either. She threw him a smile and a wave and turned towards the dark forest. Her brother would come around sooner rather than later, she was sure of that.

Her progress into the forest was slow, as she could barely see enough to tell where she was stepping. She had no idea where Morgana had gone, and when she turned and couldn’t see the glimmer of the campsite anymore, a cold, dread-filled stone dropped low in her gut.

“Morgana?” Gwen tried, but there was no response. She sighed and sat down on the ground, leaning her back against a tree trunk. Maybe it was better to wait there for morning instead of continuing on and risking getting even more lost.

“Guinevere.”

Gwen jumped, pressing a hand to her chest in an effort to calm her racing heartbeat. She looked around wildly until she caught sight of Morgana standing a little way off to the side, once again illuminated by the small balls of light she often conjured in the dark. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head.

“You gave me a fright.” When Morgana simply kept standing there, not replying, Gwen paused and looked at her more closely. “Are you all right?”

“You should not be out here alone,” was all Morgana said before turning away and starting to walk. Gwen stared at her back for a moment, then shook herself out of her stupor and hurried to catch up.

“What about you? You’re out here alone too, are you not?”

“I am made of powerful magic. There is nothing in this forest that can harm me.”

Gwen studied her profile, the tight set of her lips. “Then why do you look like you’re in pain?”

With a sharp intake of breath, Morgana stopped. She stood frozen for a moment, then, finally, turned towards Gwen. There was a distant expression on her face that hadn’t been there for a while, and something in Gwen’s chest constricted painfully.

“Morgana?” she asked, her voice coming out smaller than intended. Some of the hardness left Morgana’s face upon hearing it.

“I apologise,” she said. “I did not mean to worry you. Everything’s all right, truly. I’ve just had a lot of realisations to work through. It has been a long day.”

Without thinking, Gwen reached for Morgana’s hand and gently took it in hers, the way she’d wanted to all day. Then she stiffened, remembering Morgana’s warning that her magic didn’t react well to being touched by someone she didn’t trust. She prepared herself for a hair-made fist flying at her or wind knocking her backwards, and when nothing came, her eyes snapped to Morgana’s, who was looking down at their joined hands with something that seemed a lot like wonder.

Swallowing heavily at the realisation that Morgana must trust her a considerable amount, Gwen squeezed her hand, which made Morgana look back up at her. Deciding to go for something of an all-or-nothing approach, Gwen lifted her free hand and brushed a strand of Morgana’s hair out of her face. Her fingers tingled where they’d brushed her cheek and her hair was cool and smooth to the touch. She lowered her hand again and clenched it into a fist, or else she was afraid it’d hold on to Morgana and never want to let go.

“Gwen,” Morgana said, softly, quietly, _tenderly_ , and Gwen felt a shiver run down her spine.

She tried to will her gaze to stay on Morgana’s eyes, but in the end she was powerless to stop it from dropping down to her lips. The urge to press her own against them and see if she could find the taste of her own name on Morgana’s tongue was almost overwhelming.

When Morgana slipped her hand out of Gwen’s, longing and loss and frustration all mixed together into something a lot like grief. Her hand twitched, and she dug her fingers into the fabric of her tunic to keep it from straying from her side.

“Let’s go back,” Morgana said, and Gwen thought she would combust when Morgana brushed a thumb over her cheek after a moment’s hesitation. “We need a good night’s sleep, for tomorrow, we storm the castle. Tomorrow, Uther dies.”

Gwen nodded. She followed Morgana as she led the way and refused to think about the fact that by the next night, some of them might very well have become nothing but a corpse.

 

* * *

 

Neither Gwen nor Morgana were able to sleep much that night, the anticipation and apprehension keeping them awake. Or maybe that was just Gwen, and Morgana decided to keep her company.

They talked about innocuous things, from their favourite colour to the most strangely shaped cloud they’d ever seen, their voices low and their eyes closed half the time. Gwen was relieved when she was finally too tired to feel the constant ache that not touching Morgana had started causing in her.

She wondered how Elyan and the others were faring, if they were getting any more sleep. Probably not—she could imagine them sitting around the campfire, trying to take each other’s minds off the approaching battle.

By the time the sun rose, neither Gwen nor Morgana had actually slept much more than a few hours, but Gwen was still glad to see the sky changing colours. She wanted all of this to be over and to figure out how to deal with the fallout after; the uncertainty was too excruciating to bear.

Sitting up, she looked over at Morgana, whose eyes were closed and whose face was half-covered by her hair. The temptation to reach out and brush her hair out of her face like she’d done the night before was so strong that Gwen’s fingers twitched involuntarily.

“Morgana,” she said quietly.

A small hitch in her breathing signalled that Morgana was waking up. She stirred slowly, a small frown creasing her brows, and then blinked her eyes open and buried a yawn in her shoulder.

“Gwen?” Morgana croaked.

Looking at her like that, sleep-rumpled and relaxed in a way she rarely was, Gwen felt her chest warm up as if it were a hearth someone had just lit a fire in. She didn’t even try to stop her smile.

“We should go join the others.”

With a groan, Morgana sat up, leaning back on her hands. She closed her eyes and lifted her eyebrows when her body swayed in dizziness.

“Of course,” she said. “One moment, please.”

Gwen got up and walked over to the small stream close by to drink and clean herself perfunctorily, then walked a bit further away to relieve herself. When she returned to where she’d left Morgana, she looked a lot more awake and nodded at Gwen to show her she was ready.

They started walking towards the campsite—Gwen had lost all sense of direction in the dark the previous night so she was mostly following Morgana’s lead once again—and Gwen decided to just be upfront about her desires for once. Who knew if, or when, she’d ever get the chance again?

“I want to hold your hand,” she said, and was proud at how she managed to keep most of the nervousness out of her voice.

Morgana stopped so abruptly that it took Gwen a while to realise she wasn’t beside her anymore. When she turned around, she saw that Morgana was staring at her, her cheeks decidedly pink in the soft morning light.

Instead of answering, she held out her hand, and Gwen took it with a smile while watching the pink in Morgana’s cheeks veer more towards red. They resumed walking, and Gwen swung their hands between them a bit, a grin on her face all the while.

“I’ve never—” Morgana started, then cut herself off to clear her throat. “I have never held anyone’s hand before, just for the sake of holding it.”

Gwen squeezed her hand. “And what’s your verdict?”

“I… like it. When it’s you.” Even her neck and the tips of her ears had turned red by now, and Gwen turned her head away to hide her smile, instead squeezing her hand again, her own cheeks heating up as well.

Eventually, Morgana said, “We’re almost there,” and they both let go of each other’s hand with noticeable reluctance. They stood there, simply staring at each other, for the longest time, until Morgana said, “Before we go…” and leaned forwards to press her lips against Gwen’s cheek.

Gwen’s heartbeat sped up a ridiculous amount for such a chaste gesture and she gently captured Morgana’s face in her hands. Hesitantly, Morgana’s hands wandered to her waist and held on a bit more tightly when Gwen didn’t protest. Tearing her gaze away from Morgana’s lips and back to her eyes was more of a challenge than Gwen wanted to admit. Their eyes met, and only then did Gwen realise how close to Morgana she’d gotten, their soft but quickened breathing ringing loudly in her ears.

With a rueful smile, Gwen let go of her and took a step back. “The others are waiting.”

They would have enough time to explore each other if they both survived the upcoming battle. It would only be worse for them if one of them died and the other always had this one wonderful moment to remember; the longing, the _yearning_ , would be nothing but another wound that was hard to heal.

Maybe she was imagining it, but she thought she saw understanding flicker over Morgana’s face as she nodded.

When they finally reached the campsite, Gwen barely had time to register all the metal she was seeing before someone wrapped her up in a tight—and rather painful, courtesy of their armour—hug.

“I was worried I wouldn’t get to talk to you before the battle,” Elyan said over her shoulder, squeezing her once before letting go of everything but her shoulders and smiling at her. He was trying hard to hide it, but Gwen knew him too well; she could tell how nervous he was. Her heart ached for her brother and she wished she could shelter him from this, that all of them were safe and happy and together and that none of them had to face any of this.

“You have to survive, Elyan,” she said, her voice a fragile thing so close to being dropped and shattering irreparably. “Promise you’ll try your best?”

“I was going to say the same exact thing to you.”

They nodded at each other, then hugged one last time before joining the others, all in armour except for Merlin. She caught his gaze and they nodded at each other as well.

Her insides were twisted up into a tight coil as she looked around at everyone. The knowledge that any one or several of them might not be alive later in the day sat heavy in her stomach and she didn’t know how to make it any easier to deal with.

At some point during her and Elyan’s interaction, Morgana had walked over to Merlin, and Gwen’s eyes were inevitably drawn to her. She started a little when she realised that Morgana was already watching her. They held eye contact until Arthur cleared his throat and stepped forward.

“Brave knights,” he began, then added, after looking at Gwen, Morgana and Merlin, “and other courageous allies. Not too long ago, I could never have imagined a day like the present arriving. And yet, here we are, about to meet up with others who have pledged their allegiance to our cause, about to storm my father’s castle and to free Camelot and its people from his unjust rule. Today, Uther’s reign ends once and for all!”

Arthur raised his sword, and with a yell, everyone else raised theirs as well. It was hard not to get swept up in it, their conviction and determination a palpable thing.

Letting her gaze wander from the knights to Arthur to Morgana and Merlin to Elyan, Gwen took a deep breath and let herself hope.

 

* * *

 

“Come with me,” Morgana said right into her ear, over the deafening clang of metal upon metal that seemed to be coming from all around them.

Gwen’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking and by the time she remembered she wasn’t completely defenceless, Morgana had already dragged her into one of the castle’s many corridors.

“Gwen.” Morgana’s voice was steady but carried a tinge of desperation, and when Gwen met her eyes for a moment, she got the feeling that it wasn’t the first time Morgana had said her name. “Where is your father? Show me the way.”

The need to be everywhere at once rooted Gwen to the spot. She had to stay close to Elyan, make sure he was all right; she had to save her father; she had to curl up into a ball and cover her ears; she had to fight; she had to help.

“Look at me,” Morgana said, her tone softer than Gwen had ever heard it. Gwen clutched at Morgana’s arms.

“I don’t know what to do.” Her voice was shaking so hard it was barely intelligible.

“First, you are going to save your father. Then, we will join the others and make sure they’re safe.” Morgana’s lips thinned. “Then, I kill Uther.”

“Arthur!” Uther’s voice bellowed across the courtyard behind them. It was as if speaking his name had summoned him, like he was a demon sprung from the pages of a cautionary tale. And yet, he was just a man, even if he was among the worst of them. She wasn’t at the mercy of some higher power watching a pre-determined outcome unfold; what she did or didn’t do counted. The thought gave Gwen the foothold she needed.

“Follow me,” she told Morgana, and took off down the corridor.

They didn’t run into anyone but frightened servants on their way to the dungeons. Uther must have ordered all of his fighters to face Arthur and his knights outside. She’d come to see her father as often as possible, so finding the way to his cell was a simple matter. When they got there, however, the cell was empty.

“No,” Gwen said, her hands clutching the bars, her eyes searching the cell for any sign of her father. “No, it can’t be.”

“Gwen…” Morgana started, but Gwen shook her head.

“No.”

“Are you looking for Tom?”

They both whirled around, looking for the source of the words. When Gwen found it, she stared.

“Gaius?”

He smiled. “Good day, Gwen.”

“Even you?” she asked, stumbling over to his cell.

“Uther does not take kindly to magical people who’ve been smuggling their kind of out Camelot for as long as he’s hunted them.” Gaius shrugged. “It was only a matter of time that he found out.”

“Arthur and Merlin and the others are out there right now, fighting to take down Uther. We’ll free you as soon as we can.”

Gaius sat forward. “Merlin? Is he all right?”

“Have you ever known him to pretend to be anything but fine?” Gwen asked with a smile. Morgana shifted behind her, and when Gaius’ gaze landed on her, there was an audible hitch in his breathing.

“Morgana?”

Morgana frowned. “You know me?”

“In a manner of speaking,” he said, without elaborating any further. “Aren’t you two looking for Tom?”

It felt like Gwen’s heart was in her throat. “Have you seen him? Is he…” She couldn’t bring herself to finish that sentence.

“He’s alive,” Gaius said. His grave tone did little to quell Gwen’s worries beyond the first rush of relief. “Uther has him working at the forges day and night now. He assigns guards to watch him constantly, making sure he doesn’t take unsanctioned breaks.” Gaius looked down at his hands, folded in his lap. “Frankly, I’m not sure how much longer your father will be able to endure it. It’s been a long while since Uther let him come back to his cell to rest.”

Clenching her jaw, Gwen said, “He won’t have to any longer. This ends now.” She started towards the exit and called back over her shoulder, “We’ll come back for you. I promise.”

“The best of luck!” Gaius called after them.

“I had no idea he was a sorcerer,” Gwen said, slightly breathlessly, while they ran to the forges.

“Thanks to Uther, it’s not exactly something you want people to know,” Morgana replied.

“You’ve never hidden it.”

“Yes, but I have never had to survive in Camelot.”

Gwen hummed, then abruptly drew to a stop and held out a hand for Morgana to do the same.

“Gaius said Uther has guards stationed at the forges. If we keep running, they’ll know we’re coming and we’ll lose the element of surprise.”

Morgana raised a single eyebrow. “I do not need the element of surprise.”

The temptation to roll her eyes was strong, but Gwen barely resisted. “All right, fine, but we still shouldn’t announce our presence. It’ll give them time to hide and get the element of surprise on their side. It didn’t go so well when I surprised you, remember?”

“You were an exception,” Morgana said. She blinked, then turned away and started walking. Despite everything, Gwen just had to smile.

“You’re going the wrong way.”

Clearing her throat, Morgana turned back around and looked at Gwen, her attempt at looking completely aloof decidedly not working out in her favour.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Keep leading the way, then.”

Gwen’s grin only widened when she saw the faint blush dusting Morgana’s cheeks, warmth blooming in her chest like kindling catching fire.

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” she said, and Morgana covered her face with one of her hands.

“Why must you insist on robbing me of my composure?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gwen said innocently, then started moving again, quietly this time. Morgana followed her with an amused huff.

Once they reached the corridor that eventually veered off into the forges, they heard two things: One, the clanging of a hammer striking metal; and two, the voices of the guards who were stationed in front of the door.

“It’s not fair that all the others get to fight and we’re stuck here,” Gwen could hear one of the guards saying. “Nothing exciting ever happens here.”

“You want to fight? No thanks, I’d rather keep all my limbs,” the other one replied.

“Uther is an idiot for not making use of my talents,” the first guard boasted.

The other guard drew in a sharp breath and hissed, “Are you out of your mind? Silence.”

“Uther doesn’t have eyes and ears all over the palace. Everyone knows that’s a myth. You’re just a coward.”

Gwen looked over her shoulder at Morgana and they both nodded. It was finally time to save her father.

They burst around the corner, and before the guards had even realised they were there, Morgana had her hands raised, frowning in concentration, and they were frozen. She turned and moved them so they were back-to-back, after which Gwen hurried forwards to tie them up with their own rope that they carried around their waists. She stuffed wads of cloth in their mouth; their gaping expressions and wide eyes made them look distinctly fish-like.

Morgana joined her by the door, and Gwen used the key she’d taken from the guards to unlock it. Her hands were trembling when she opened it. When her gaze landed on her father, her breath got stuck in her throat. He looked up from where he was standing at the anvil and stared.

“Gwen? Is that really you?” He rubbed his forearm over his eyes.

“Father,” Gwen said, her voice little more than a croak, and then she was running towards him and he dropped his hammer and caught her in his arms. She felt wet drops fall on her head from where she’d buried her face in his chest, and she wasn’t faring much better.

“How— Why— Are you—” her father started, before repeating, “How?”

Gwen pulled back a little and looked up into his face. “It’s a long story, one we don’t have time for at the moment. Father, there’s a battle raging outside, Elyan in its midst, and—”

“Elyan’s alive?” her father said, sounding like he was somewhere on the border between disbelief and hope.

“He is, as is Arthur, as are all the knights. Uther lied to us, he lied to everyone.”

At the mention of the nightmarish king, her father’s expression hardened. “Just when you think he can’t become any viler…” He took a deep breath, blinking back a renewed outpouring of tears. “My son is alive.”

“He was the last time I saw him, but I don’t know how the battle is going.”

Her father nodded, determination visible in his face. “We have to find him.” For the first time, he looked over Gwen’s shoulder. “Who’s this?”

Gwen turned towards Morgana and beckoned her closer, suddenly nervous. She needed her father to have a good first impression of her.

“This is Morgana, a sorceress fighting alongside Arthur and the knights. She helped me find and rescue you, father.”

“Pleased to meet you,” her father said after hesitating only for the briefest moment. He held out his hand and Morgana shook it, for once a look of uncertainty on her face. “Thank you for looking out for my daughter.”

Morgana smiled. “There’s nothing to thank me for. I would not be able to forgive myself if something happened to Gwen.”

Her father looked between the two of them until something like understanding bloomed in his expression and he looked over at Gwen with a smile and raised eyebrows. She groaned inwardly, determined to avoid talking about this for as long as possible.

“Let’s go,” she said, and then took off without waiting for their answer. They followed her, like she knew they would. She gave herself a moment to indulge in the warmth that had spread throughout her chest since reuniting with her father before focusing back on the matter at hand.

There was a tyrant to dethrone.

 

* * *

 

Somehow, as these things were wont to do, Gwen, Morgana, Arthur and Merlin ended up following Uther on his retreat up his highest tower. Arthur and Morgana were taking the lead, Merlin and Gwen right behind them.

Most of the fighting was over, and Gwen had left her father and Elyan safe and reunited in the courtyard. Elyan had a wound on his leg and it had taken some convincing to get him to stay still and let their father tend to it instead of following Gwen and the others up the tower.

Gwen looked over at Merlin and paused, staring at what he was holding in his hands.

“Is that a dragon egg?” she panted. The tower had way too many stairs.

“Yes,” Merlin replied, not faring much better breath-wise. Apparently being magical didn’t afford you endless stamina.

Gwen shrugged. There were weirder things. “All right,” she said. “Gaius says hello. He’s locked in the dungeons and very relieved you’re all right. I told him we’d free him after.”

Merlin nodded at her, and when Gwen tilted his head in question at his lack of reply, he said, “Can’t. Talk. Must. Breathe.”

Fair enough. Gwen focused back on the climb. By the time they finally reached the top, the stairwell was filled with all of their loud breathing. They exited it and stepped onto the platform at the top of the tower, ringed by battlements.

Uther was facing them, his sword drawn. “Arthur,” he said. “My biggest disappointment.”

“Interesting,” Arthur said, his voice almost sounding steady, and drew his own sword. “That’s what I was about to call you.”

Gwen edged closer little by little, trying to keep out of his line of sight. She need not have bothered; once his gaze landed on Morgana, he froze, his sword drooping.

“It can’t be,” he muttered, almost to himself.

“Hello, father,” Morgana said. Gwen had never heard the word ‘father’ said so coldly before. With disdain, certainly, but never like this, like not even the hottest fire could make it feel any warmer.

“Morgana,” Uther said, and stumbled backwards. He was standing right in front one of the gaps in the battlements, kept low in order to afford a better view of Camelot and its surroundings, and so there was nothing to catch him when he lost his footing.

Surging forwards, Gwen saw Uther stumble over the edge with a surprised look on his face, as if he couldn’t quite believe that even he could perish. His expression quickly turned into a snarl, and Uther twisted around, reached out, and before Gwen knew it, she was falling, her body touching nothing but air. She stared at Morgana’s equally wide-eyed face that got increasingly smaller and distantly registered Arthur and Merlin calling out her name.

The fall took her breath away, her insides twisting and jumping. In the end, it was so easy to die, so hard to survive. But Gwen wanted to. With every fibre of her being, she wanted to live. She wanted—

Gwen only realised she’d closed her eyes when she felt hands on her waist. She tore them open and stared into Morgana’s painfully familiar face, unsure if she was imagining this or not.

“What are you doing?” she asked, or at least she thought she did. Talking while falling proved to be more challenging than she thought. Morgana seemed to understand, though, and wrapped her arms around Gwen, pulling her close.

“Magic,” Morgana whispered into her ear, and just like that, their fall slowed down until they were almost standing still.

Gwen looked down and caught a last glimpse of Uther’s furious face before he hit the ground. She flinched despite herself and buried her face in the crook of Morgana’s neck, only looking up when she felt a drop on her face. Sweat was running down Morgana’s face, her brows knitted, her teeth clenched.

“Morgana!” Merlin’s voice called out. Gwen looked at the tower where she could see Arthur and Merlin rushing down the stairwell through the gaps in the tower wall that were supposed to let light in. “Just hold on a little bit longer.”

Morgana flicked him an annoyed look as if to say, _I am well aware of that, thank you. Do you have anything more constructive to add?_

They were slowly drifting towards the ground, though every now and again, they dropped a couple of feet through the air, and Gwen could tell that Morgana’s control of their descent was slipping through her fingers. Not knowing what else to do, she decided to try her hand at encouragement.

“You can do this, Morgana,” Gwen said, putting every ounce of her conviction into her tone. “I believe in you.”

Morgana’s eyes met hers and Gwen envisioned sending Morgana strength.

“I know what Merlin said was annoying, but it’s really only a little bit longer now. We’re almost there, and then we’ll be safe, and Uther is gone for good, and we can do everything we didn’t get the chance to before.” Gwen couldn’t stop her gaze from dropping down to Morgana’s lips, but Morgana’s small, protesting grunt made her look back up.

“I can see how hard you’re trying,” she continued, “and you’re doing so well. You saved me and you kept your word and I want you to know how wonderful I think you are.” She rubbed her thumbs in soothing circled over Morgana’s shoulders. “Just hold on a little while longer, my love.”

A small whimper escaped Morgana at that, and Gwen let her smile bloom without doing anything to stop it. She never once broke eye contact; tears of exhaustion had joined in with the sweat pouring down Morgana’s face and Gwen wished there was more she could do to help.

As soon as they were a safe distance from the ground, Morgana went limp, breathed out a sigh, and then they fell.

Gwen had been expecting this, so she rolled off her fall—it really wasn’t far; Morgana had carried them almost all the way down—and got back on her feet once she’d shaken off the dizziness.

When she looked over at Morgana, crumpled in a motionless heap, her breath got stuck in her throat. She hurried over and dropped onto her knees next to her. The jolt that went through her when she saw Morgana’s eyes were closed was something she never needed to feel again, and she only let out her breath when she saw Morgana’s chest move. She seemed to be sleeping.

“Gwen! Morgana!” Arthur called, rushing towards them. “Are you all right?”

Gwen nodded, bone-tired herself, and brushed Morgana’s hair out of her sweaty face. “She’s sleeping.”

Arthur’s gaze fell on a point behind Gwen and he let out a choked sound, stumbling forwards. Merlin reached them next and also got on his knees besides Morgana, holding his hands out over her body and muttering something—probably spells—under his breath.

Twisting around to look at where Arthur had gone, she saw him standing over Uther’s dead and distorted body.

Arthur was staring down at his father’s corpse with a complicated expression on his face. Before he turned away, his cape fluttering behind him, Gwen saw a hint of pain in his eyes.

She watched his back as he strode towards the knights in the distance, away from the dead Uther, and wondered how he could feel any grief for someone like him.

But then again, her father wasn’t a tyrant, and she couldn’t say how she’d feel about him if he were. If she’d still feel some twisted form of grief if he died. And maybe what he felt was just grief for who he wished his father had been.

A gasp made Gwen whirl back around. When she looked into Morgana’s open eyes, she felt her own well up in relief.

“She’ll be all right,” Merlin said. Gwen wondered how long it would take all of them to stop sounding tired after a day like this. “She overexerted her magical reserves and they’ll take a while to replenish. It’s possible that they’ll come back in short, intense bursts, so she’ll need to be careful over the next week or so.”

“‘She’ is right here,” Morgana croaked, her voice gravelly. She swatted at Merlin and he pulled his hands back with an exaggerated gasp.

“The ingratitude! Can you believe?” With a groan, he got back up and smiled down at the two of them. “I’m going to go free Gaius now. Any second he’s locked up is a second too long.”

“Thank you, Merlin,” Gwen said, unable to hide the shakiness of her voice. “I know you were looking out for Elyan.”

Merlin winked. “Who, me? All the knights made it, who would have thought. At the end of the day, the only corpse is the one that counts.” He looked over at where Uther’s body lay with a stony look on his face. After picking the dragon egg back up, he waved at them and hurried towards the dungeons.

A cool hand grabbing hers made Gwen startle and look back down at Morgana.

“Gwen,” she said. “Are you all right? Were you hurt?”

Gwen lay down next to her and put her head on Morgana’s shoulder. “I’m fine.” After a short pause, she added, “It’s all over now.”

“Sorry about all the sweat,” Morgana said, and Gwen could just hear the grimace in her voice. She tucked her smile into Morgana’s shoulder. “It seems I cannot use magic to clean up this time.”

They simply lay there for a while, on the ground, listening to each other’s breathing. Gwen was a hair’s breadth from falling asleep when approaching footsteps jostled her back awake.

“Gwen!”

Recognising her father and brother’s voices, Gwen sat up. Her father was supporting Elyan’s weight, since her brother had to avoid putting pressure on his injured leg.

She managed to heave herself back onto her feet somehow and closed the distance between them, enveloping them both in a hug. They stood there for a while, the three of them, until one of them started laughing—Gwen wasn’t sure who—and then they all joined in.

“We won,” Elyan said, his voice full of wonder. “I can’t believe it’s over.”

“Me neither,” their father agreed. “But things are finally about to change for the better.”

“I wish mother were here to see it,” Gwen mumbled. It was out before she could think to stop herself. She could feel her father freeze, but then he squeezed her one last time and let go.

“Elyan shouldn’t be standing,” he said. “We’re going to head back inside. Are you coming?” He said the last part with a glance at where Morgana was propping herself up on her elbows.

“I’ll join you two later.” Gwen kissed both of them on their cheeks and watched her father help her brother walk back to where Gwaine, Percival and Leon were waiting for him. Behind them, she could see Arthur and Lancelot clapping each other on the shoulder.

Smiling all the while, she turned back towards Morgana and held out her hands.

“Want me to help you up?”

Morgana groaned. “I’m not sure I can ever get up again.”

With a laugh, Gwen sat back down next to her. “Dramatic.”

“I’m glad I never got to know him,” Morgana said, her gaze sliding over to Uther’s corpse, still lying there. Wouldn’t it be ironic if his remains fertilised the ground enough for a tree to grow?

Gwen hummed in acknowledgement.

“I wonder if it’s strange for Arthur,” Morgana continued, “to be expected to celebrate his father’s death. Though it might be hard to imagine, he must have some good memories of him too.”

“I never used to think Arthur would ever see the truth about Uther,” Gwen replied contemplatively. “It always seemed like his biggest goal in life was for his father to see him as good enough. He never understood that it was never going to happen without him completely changing the core of his being.”

“I wonder how Merlin opened his eyes to it.”

“Maybe it was love,” Gwen said and waggled her eyebrows, aiming to elicit a laugh from Morgana. Instead, Morgana gazed at her intently, then lifted a hand to cup Gwen’s cheek.

“I believe it,” Morgana said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Gwen swallowed heavily and watched Morgana do the same.

“Do you—” Gwen started, but Morgana’s lips carefully pressing against hers cut her off. She heard her own breathing hitch, and Morgana pulled back slowly, eyes half-lidded and seemingly stuck staring at Gwen’s mouth.

Gwen’s insides coiled up tight at the sight, and before she could second-guess herself, she closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around Morgana to pull her closer, swallowing the small sound she made with her mouth.

They ended up on their knees, as close to each other as they could possibly get, their hands intertwined, their mouths barely even separating to breathe, instead catching gasps of air in the short instances one of them kissed anything but the other’s mouth.

Gwen parted her lips in invitation, and after the first tentative brush of their tongues, she sighed and let herself fall backwards. Morgana carefully curved a protective hand around the back of her head so she wouldn’t hurt herself when she hit the ground, and the small gesture filled Gwen with so much warmth that she had to pull away.

Since she’d basically pulled Morgana on top of her, she could feel both of their racing heartbeats where their chests were pressed together. Their eyes met and Gwen didn’t think her heart rate was going to slow down any time soon. When Morgana pressed a soft kiss against her temple, Gwen let out a shaky breath and her fingers curled into the fabric around Morgana’s waist.

“We should go join the others,” Gwen murmured. At Morgana’s noise of protest, Gwen smiled up at her and reached up to tuck the hair out of her face. “We’ll have plenty of time for this later. I don’t intend on going anywhere. Do you?”

They’d never talked about what Morgana would do after the fight, and Gwen couldn’t help but hope she would stay.

“I am not going anywhere,” Morgana said quietly and leaned down for one last kiss before she got up and offered to help Gwen up as well. “Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

Once the worst of the chaos inside the castle had been taken care of and Uther’s fighters were dealt with—they were given the choice to either stay in peace or be exiled, though some voices argued for their execution—Arthur pulled Morgana aside and Merlin and Gwen followed them.

“Camelot needs to change more than just its king,” Arthur said, a solemn look on his face. “Will you rule with me, as my sister and equal, Morgana? Together, we can make great strides towards uniting our magical and non-magical people. Because of how I grew up, it’s impossible for me alone to be what Camelot’s people need. Even with Merlin’s help,” he added, with a quick look over at him and a wry twist to his lips. Merlin raised an eyebrow at him and didn’t quite succeed at hiding his amusement.

Morgana stiffened, seeming completely taken aback. “Are you certain?”

“Yes,” Arthur replied without hesitation. “What do you say?”

A slow smile spread over Morgana’s face, turning into a full-blown, eye-crinkling grin. “I will rule with you.”

“Fantastic!”

The siblings shuffled closer hesitantly and gave each other the most awkward hug. Arthur’s hand got tangled in Morgana’s hair and they both tried to disentangle it with serious expressions on their faces. Gwen and Merlin shared a look, proud and exasperated at the same time.

“Let us go talk to our people,” Arthur said, once they had successfully freed his hand. “They are waiting.”

“In a moment,” Morgana said and reached for Gwen’s hand. Arthur tilted his head in confusion but then Merlin knocked into him with his shoulder on the way past and dragged him after him by the scruff of his neck. Arthur sputtered.

“This is undignified! Merlin, unhand me at once or—”

“He’s loud,” Morgana said, sounding fonder than she probably intended to.

“That he is,” Gwen agreed in much the same tone.

“It seems that I am to be queen.”

“It does.”

“I could get used to that title.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

“Will you be queen at my side?”

Gwen paused, staring at her. “What?”

Morgana blinked several times in rapid succession and seemed to be fighting off embarrassment in vain. “I meant— If you— In the future, I would like to—”

Smiling, endeared despite herself, Gwen gently placed a finger on Morgana’s lips. “I understand. And I strongly suspect that when the time comes, I’ll say yes.”

“You will?” Morgana asked, her face lighting up, and Gwen laughed.

“We’ll see. Ask me again later.”

“Would it be too soon after three more changes of season?”

Gwen hummed, pretending to consider it. “That sounds perfect, actually.”

“It does?”

“Yes,” Gwen whispered and leaned in to seal it with a kiss. She wished she were an artist so she could forever capture the expression on Morgana’s face when she pulled back.

Swinging their hands between them again, the two of them walked down the corridor. How much could change in but a day. For the first time in a long time, laughter echoed through the castle, and the sun shone down on all of them as if it was celebrating along with them.

They entered the assembly room and Gwen spotted Elyan and her father in one corner. Before she let go of Morgana’s hand to join them and listen to Arthur and Morgana’s speech, she glanced back over at her, only to find that Morgana was already looking at her.

They shared a smile, and it said more than any words could have in that moment.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! it would be very lovely of you to leave a comment
> 
> title is from Tracy Chapman's song Mountains O' Things!!
> 
> ok so to explain..... I wrote like 21k of this 2 years ago and then wrote 7k more a couple weeks ago to finally wrap it up and then went back to the beginning to proof-read it but I ended up changing a couple of things so by the time I was done I should have probably started proof-reading again but I didn't want to..... so yeah if some parts don't make sense or are super awkward I'm sorry!! I'd resigned myself to never finishing this but now I have and it feels kinda surreal??
> 
> I never watched the last few seasons and what I did watch of the show I watched ages ago so everyone might not be in character at all I have no idea
> 
> and no one speaks in a medieval kind of way bc I had no idea how to make that work or even how to write it haha my English isn't that advanced
> 
> also, is Merlin the only one with a mother who's actually alive omg
> 
> none of Arthur & co. die bc I love happiness and hope and I wanted them all to make it so they did. I just really wanted everything to end well. also sorry I skipped most of the battle but...... I just really didn't want to write it haha
> 
> did anyone even read this it's so damn long omg. does anyone even still care about these two?? idk and idk how happy I am with it but here it is bc I just don't have it in me to go over it again
> 
> if you read this whole thing then you're a miracle and I love you okay take care bye


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